Happy birthday to a wonderful guy who turns 17 years old today... my sobriety. It's hard to believe that my sobriety is now old enough to drive...(could have used a driver back in the day...would have saved a lot of money on cars and fines and surcharges and insurance etc., etc., etc.). It's hard to believe that I have not had an "adult" beverage in 17 years. Very little credit should be given to me for this accomplishment. The bulk of the credit goes to my higher power (God) and my highest power (all of you). I could not have done anything like this without the strength and courage that I received from my support system. Never has a "cliche" meant more than it does today. "One day at a time"... I heard it in AA meetings, group therapy sessions, and calls with my sponsor. Back at the beginning, I thought, what a bunch of crap! How am I supposed to quit drinking forever? That's impossible. And that is where the concept and purpose becomes clear. No one can be expected to stop drinking forever, but everyone can stop drinking for one day...today. And then when you wake up again, you repeat the cycle... "I will not have a drink today" and so on and so on. Having a sober and clear mind...(for the first time in a long time) made me realize that my drinking and drugging was not a personal issue but effected so many others. It wasn't until I got sober that I realized how much I hurt family and friends who watched while I pointed the bottle at my head and pulled the trigger time and time again. The endless worrying when I didn't come home or disappeared for days on end. The hopelessness they felt when they tried to convince me that I needed help...
That was then and this is now... I will never be able to repay the love and support I received over these years. All I can do is pay it forward every chance I can. I can promise that I will be here for any and all who are going through what I did or know someone they are trying to help. I have been blessed with another chance...(so many that saying a second chance is ludicrous) to live my life. I have been blessed with friends and loved ones who didn't give up on me...(even when I gave up on myself) and stuck with me through it all. I have been blessed with good health...my liver was pre-cirrhotic and enlarged at one time and now is completely healthy and functioning normally. At one time I weighed 245 lbs and had cholesterol and blood pressure through the roof. Through exercise and diet I am now under 200 lbs and my cholesterol and blood pressure are normal. My mind and brain are a different matter, but hey, some consequences had to be suffered.
So, happy birthday to "sober" Jim...it is been an extreme pleasure to see you born (April 28, 1995) and watch you grow up. I look forward to growing old with you. God Bless all of You and thank you so much!!
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