The week that was...

Hello, Friday... a good thing for most people signaling the start of the weekend and a much needed rest from the week of work. Some of you I know have to force yourself to take some time off whether it be the weekend or not, but that's an issue you must deal with. Weekends for me coming up at the end of August will mean football and working the football games... (ASU on Saturdays and the Cardinals on Sundays). In fact, the human "cheeto" will be working tomorrow outside in the parking lot of Phoenix Stadium from 10 am until 9pm. The occasion? Monster Truck Jam 2009. The forecast for tomorrow you ask...(I'm going to tell you even if you don't ask--that's the beauty of blogging, no one to say shut up! until it's out there) is for sunny skies, 0% precipitation and a high of 110. I tell you this not to evoke pity or sympathy, but to enlighten you. I firmly believe this is the precursor to eternal fire and damnation and I, for one, feel fully prepared for hell just by surviving out here...(I'm joking of course, hell will be much worse). I have my frozen water bottles, towels and bandanas, and fruit and food packed in my coolers for a rigorous test of man against nature... (in which nature wins on a consistent basis). But again, this was part of the deal when I moved out here.

Went to the Jobing.com Arena last night and saw Cirque de Soleil with my E&A group. What a show! If it comes around to your necks of the woods, I urge you to see it. The music and the acts were incredible. Two hours of watching the most limber people I have ever seen. Saltimbanco (the name of this particular show) featured juggling, trapeze, trick bike riding, feats of strength and of course the clown. Jobing.com Arena is across the lot from Phoenix Stadium and surrounded by a mall of stores and restaurants and shops called Westgate in Glendale Arizona. I was there a few weeks ago to work a party for the soccer matches held there... (I was doing ID checks at the north gate. You would figure as a security professional (Easy, don't take yourself too seriously) that I would familiarize my self with the venue and the surrounding area. I thought I did... (I didn't).

When I was in California last Monday, sister and I asked the hotel clerk for a good sushi place in the area...(the one sister knew was closed on Monday). The clerk gave us a place a few miles away and even printed the directions out... 6 minutes in travel time according to Mapquest. Thirty minutes later and ready to scream we tried one last shopping mall and found it! (great persistence, sis). Of course the directions were wrong...(but like Christopher Columbus we found something. Unlike him, we found what we were looking for). The place was great, the sushi was delicious and we saw they had two locations in Arizona... (one in Tempe and one in Glendale). To make a long story short...(something I ALWAYS have trouble with) I found the location in Glendale across Westgate from the Jobing.com Arena. It was on the second floor right in front of where I stood for 2 days and never noticed! (some professional, huh?).

So tomorrow I park cars... (and layer myself with sun block about 300 times). I love the parking lot. Mind numbing boredom and listening to the "veterans" bark about how they are the only ones who know how to park cars. Oh, well. A necessary evil in the quest for green fees...

Where have I been?

Where have I been? I can't believe that my last blog was on July 18th... Totally unacceptable behavior on my part and a thousand apologies to my readers and fans (both of them). When I last left you, I was sweltering in the Valley at an event called Mighty Mud Mania and seeking shade wherever it presented itself. As you can read, I survived and have been fairly busy keeping myself hydrated and air conditioned whenever possible. I tried to host Evening tennis on Monday the 20th but was denied by weather (can you believe it?). This is the "monsoon" season in Arizona... (read that as "blistering hot, humid and chance of thunderstorm at any minute"). The days are still a balmy 100-120 (mostly in the 114-115 range) and sunny but around 6:30 pm the clouds come out of nowhere and lightening and thunderstorms arrive. So there I was in Tempe waiting for the members to show when I received my first phone call... ("Is tennis still on?"). I walked outside and saw the clouds coming from the West right at me... The wind picked up to about 40 mph (which means a sandblasting in this state) and the trees started bending like Hurricane Andrew was bearing down. I quickly called the members on my list and canceled the event (with the help of Susie in the E&A office--she is a great help). I made a judgment call and it was a good one. By the time I was blown to my car (Auntie Em, it's a twister!) and made it about a mile from the venue, the lightening and rain started... (and a spectacular lightening event it was). So much for evening tennis...

The rest of the week followed suit... Beautiful day followed by evening wind and thunderstorms. But not the T-storms I was used to. Downpours that don't cool anything off, puddles that don't remain puddles for very long, and rain that blows through so fast that if you not looking you miss it. Thursday the 23rd was how badly can you overdo it day. Early morning golf, mid-afternoon workout in the gym and indoor volleyball for two hours at night... (I thought I would eventually outgrow this behavior--how great it is that I haven't!!). Sore muscles (even my fat was sore!) are the precursor to memories. I find that the more something hurts the greater the retention of the memory... (here's to me not killing myself to prove this theory).

Friday began my exodus to the land of less heat... i.e. California. Sister Sheryl had to go there for work the following week and Cousin Beck (who lives there and had arranged her schedule to accommodate--thanks Beck!) were planning to meet so Southwest Airlines carried my carcass (an hour plane ride--what a great thing) to LAX where I met Sister Sheryl and we trekked to Cousin Beck's place. We had a great visit catching up and playing with Grace, Beck's daughter... We took a water taxi ride in Marina del Rey and ate dinner in Malibu where Mel Gibson was before his infamous arrest and tirade about the Jewish faith... We also went to Pinks a famous hotdog stand in LA (est. 1939) and waited 45 minutes on line for hotdogs. They were worth the wait. Beck let us invade her home until Sunday (I am NOT tired!) and then we moved further up the coast to Valencia where Sister had to be for work... Monday we drove around (had great sushi for lunch), discovered a great lake in the middle of nowhere (Lake Piru) and then went to Manhattan Beach and walked in the Pacific Ocean... (not bad--two Oceans in less than a month). She then dropped me at LAX and I flew home to the Valley (it was still over 100 at 9:30 pm when I landed). The weather was gorgeous in California...(80's during the day and 60's at night).

So here I am back in Arizona and trying to resume routine living (what the heck is that and why would I want to do it?) The hell with routine. Bring on the unexpected and spontaneous... Many thanks to Sister Sheryl for suggesting the trip and hanging with her bro. Many thanks to Cousin Beck for opening her home and letting us come for a visit... (it was way overdo and it was great to see her and Grace). Hope your feeling better, Beck... (keep using that inhaler--great call Sis). I am working this weekend and have another event coming up, but I have rambled enough and that stuff will be handled in future blogs... Hope everyone out there in blogdom is doing okay. Type at you later.

New heights in hotness...

"Mighty Mud Mania" was the name of the event I worked at in Scottsdale this week... Unfortunately I was nowhere near the mud pits or water slides they had for the kids... (which meant I was nowhere near the hoses to make the mud, the hoses to fuel the water slides, or the sprinklers to wash the kids off after the muddy fun). I was in the overflow parking lot which was serviced by the shuttle buses taking people to and from the event about a mile or so from the park. It was set up at the local middle school on the ball fields...(and you know from experience that ball fields don't have trees. There was one tree next to the smallest field, but that wasn't usable until the afternoon. So, the human "cheeto" was baked from 7:00 am until around 3 pm. I think it made it up to about 112 or so, but it was hard to tell after awhile. I drank water and gatorade the whole day and never visited the restroom...(almost 2 1/2 gallons I figured).

I also met my trainer at 4:30 that afternoon, but when we started working out, the cramps started coming... (more cramps than a PMS clinic). I had so many cramps, I thought I was two people. Hips, hamstrings, quads, calfs, feet, toes, back, and glutes all took their turn locking up. So we stopped working out and he just stretched me out for the next 45 minutes... I was able to walk (under my own power) to the car, came home and ate a banana and had some Chinese food to load up on some sodium, several bottles of Gatorade and a loooooong shower...(hoping to absorb water through osmosis). That seemed to do the trick because I made it through the night without waking up as "pretzel boy". A little sore but none the worse for wear.

The rest of the week was quiet. Steve, my friend and houseguest for a few days, has set off on the IRBIB tour of 2009. (I Rather Be In Boise). It is the first time I've heard that expression and most definitely the last time. It struck me so funny that when we finally stopped laughing we named his trip after it. Job hunting for him here has gone nowhere so he is off on a trip west to LA and up the coast to visit friends and family (he's originally from Oregon), eventually ending up in, you guessed it, Boise, Idaho where the job market hopefully will be more kind. I wish him good luck in his adventure. He is posting the trip in Stages like the Tour De France and only leaving clues as to where he is...(pretty obvious though if you think about them). Happy trails, Steve-o.

I hope to go to the driving range this afternoon (after kickboxing--will I never learn?) because I couldn't play golf during the week, thanks to my sadistic trainer. He killed me so bad on Monday that I was sore until Thursday night... (Discovered new muscles that haven't ever been sore before). He promised to let up (a little) on me next week and even offered a peace offering... a free round of golf Sunday with him and two friends (sweet!). It's at a course I haven't played yet so it's even better. We'll meet for breakfast and then off to the course. Four East Coast guys on the golf course...(should be a lot of "f" bombs dropping). Not sure whether to beat him too badly because he could take it out on me next week...(screw that, go for the jugular!). I'll give a some tips and beat the pants off him (if I not too sore...lol).

After all is said and done...

After all is said and done...hot is still hot. As I experience my first "summer" here in Valley...(to me it's summer all year long) this last week has climbed into the 110-120 range. I worked...(yes, I'm using the "w" word again) on Saturday and Sunday at a festival celebrating the Gold Cup Soccer matches at Cardinal Stadium (technically the University of Phoenix Stadium) and the temperatures were 114 and 115, respectively. Taking into consideration that it's a "dry heat", it is still HOT! The sun is so intense that you can feel it burning your skin as you stand in it. The breezes, unless they're coming across water, are just like opening the oven door on a preheated oven... and please don't get me wrong, I am not complaining! I am absolutely loving this...(maybe I'm suffering from heat induced delusions). It's still beautiful and sunny and warm (make that very warm) with daytime temps in the 1-teens going down to a balmy 85-90 at night. It's hard not to want to be outside when you look out the window in the morning and see how beautiful it is, it's just that you have to be very careful. That's why I'm working... to adapt to the heat more.

Last Thursday we went tubing down the Salt River again (not E&A, but my bff Mary Ellen and her parents, who flew in from North Carolina). The river was running faster than the last time and the water temperature was 68... (so damn delicious!). We cruised on another 6 man tube complete with coolers and "picnicked" on the raft for 4 glorious hours...(tough work if you can find it). Later that day I hosted an indoor volleyball event in Tempe and only 2 of the people who signed up showed up (way to go guys!). I ended up shooting hoops for a couple of hours before packing it in... (good free throw practice). The rest of the week was spent surviving P.J. my personal trainer...(trying to do it right this time, with someone who knows what they're doing) and he worked me like a dog. Sore as hell, but no pain. One day a week we do "rehab" exercises to strengthen the muscles around my knees... (and it seems to be working already--15 hours on my feet last weekend and no swelling in the knees).

This morning, after a rigorous (read that as long and sweat-filled) workout I took the car for an oil change and hand wash (she deserved both as the dust and bugs are no friend to a white vehicle). The Jeep has turned 130,000+ miles and (knock wood) is going as strong as ever, even in the "dry" heat. The hand wash is because Daddy (me) kept locking his keys in the car in NJ and AAA had to go in through the top of the door to rescue them. Now the door doesn't close completely and when going through the "rinse" cycle and blow dry in the autowash, the driver (me) gets a full blown shower, so baby (the Jeep) gets a hand washing when she needs one. Squeaky clean and fresh oil and filter...nothing is too good for baby. FYI, Paris (my GPS) and I are getting along famously again, ever since I almost left her in the rental car back in NJ. No problems at all...(sometimes you have to threaten these devices).

So, while the temps remain in 1-teens (read that freakin' hot!), I will be playing golf mostly in the early am until I am more used to this balmy weather...(and I will be playing in the afternoon because the prices are phenomenal--unlike the wallet rape I experienced back East). No events for me this week until Saturday and Cardio Kick Boxing (yes, I'm a glutton for punishment). And speaking of balmy here's what the week looks like temp-wise (Tues. 114-86, Wed. 111-87, Thurs. 112-88, Fri. 113-88, Sat. 112-88) but the good news is it's DRY heat. Enjoy your humidity back East and I will enjoy being "microwaved".

Fourth of July and more...

A busy week in the life of our author after his return from the East... I arrived home safely and exhausted (as witnessed in our last blog) and slept in late. I went to and joined a local gym and signed up with a personal trainer...(it's time to fix the most important ingredient necessary for this new life---me!). I have begun a monitored program of diet and exercise... (let's face it, doing it on my own hasn't worked...those of you that saw me on my trip can attest to that). My trainer is from the East Coast (Boston area) so we get along great. So now we begin the arduous task of re-inventing the wheel...(and losing the wheel of cheese surrounding my middle).

I worked twice last week (horrors!) but the jobs were pretty cool. The first was a four hour shift at the ASU auditorium where they are showing a run of "Wicked". I got to keep people from cheating into the reserved parking lot for the matinee showing. Of course, it was a "cheeto" gig and the worst part was it was overcast in the morning (I must have brought some back with me) so I left my hat at home. As soon as I was posted, the sun came out with a vengeance...(104 by the end of my shift). The human cheeto went home and hid in the air conditioning after that... Then re-emerged for "beach" volleyball that evening with my E&A friends. A marathon event...(we played from 7-10pm... f@#$%ing young adults with all their energy) and this old man kept up with them (dumbass!). The second gig was 4th of July at Tempe Town Lake (man made, of course). I was stationed on the perimeter again (East entrance gate--away from all the action). I was there from 1:30 til 11:30 pm. The temperature maxxed out at 107 and the sun beat on me like a rented mule, but I had my sunblock and hat and there was a little shade that we hid in from time to time. When the sun went down, my vantage point to watch the fireworks was excellent. They sent them up over the lake right in front of me...and the show was spectacular! 45 minutes of "works" and music with a kickass finale (best I've seen since Macy's in NYC). Getting paid to watch fireworks and confiscate "outside" beverages...(we had enough to stock a minibar by the time we were finished--people just keep trying to fool "SECURITY MAN"). They don't realize that I am a veteran of "sneaking" stuff into events and know most of the tricks...(silly rabbits!).

Sunday was spent recovering...(I slept until 10, my back was shrieking, but damn I needed that). I relaxed by the pool and puttered around the apartment and left to play volleyball again Sunday night...(this old dog just can't say no--and doesn't want to---when an old dog finally lays down, it may not get up again). There is an old saying..."We do not stop working and playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop working and playing." (I disagree with the work part, because work can get soooooo "old", but the saying is true). Volleyball was a hoot, came out tired but injury-free (the knees are cranky but holding their own) and Monday was in the gym with PJ (my trainer) at 8 am... (I am a glutton for punishment). Monday night I went to the E&A offices for our very first "host" meeting... (we have increased the amount of hosts from 4 to 6) and went over the calendar and shot some ideas around.

So there you have it... This week is going to be spent on the golf course and tubing and volleyballing and what ever else comes down the road... The weather is H-O-T but has not gone above normal...(who would have thought 107 was normal??). I have been increasing my time outside to acclimate...(the cheeto gigs are a major help) and my hydration techniques are quite good...(survivorman training in the great "hot-doors"). People still tell me the worst is yet to come weather-wise (shutup already) but that's what you sign up for...(it's summer, it's hot, get over it and stop the whining).

Postscript to the East Coast Swing

Now that I'm back in the Valley of the Sun, I've had time to reflect on my ambitious trip back East. There were many factors involved and all in all, it was a successful trip and a disappointing one also... (but not so much disappointing).

I want to thank those friends of mine who invited me to stay with them over the course of my visit... (Loretta and Vic and Cathy and Bill) and to those friends who also invited me to stay with them anytime in the future... it really means a lot to "America's Guest" to have such thoughtful friends who will let me "invade" their homes from time to time. I know you say it's no trouble but it does upset the routine. I hope to return the favor if and when you decide to come to Arizona and be my guest...

I really want to thank my sister and her family for putting up "Uncle Jimmy" on the first leg of the trip... my sister worked her butt off earlier so that she would be able to have the time off when I visited and spending time with her is very special to me...(she also was the impetus behind my reconnection with cousin Lynn and Uncle Ray and for that I will be eternally grateful). Thanks to bro-in-law Craig for including me in his world for the visit...(I hope I provided some needed male bonding what with all the women in the house). And special thanks to my nieces, Miss V and Nat, for sitting next to me and playing games with me and making a fuss over "Uncle Jimmy"... I love you girls with all my heart and anytime I get to spend with you is a special, special time...

I want to thank my friends who I did get to see for taking time out of their busy schedules to spend it with me... your friendship means more to me now than ever. I cherish our time together and look forward to seeing you again...(wherever that might be). I apologize to the friends I was not able to visit this time around and promise that I will return to see them on future junkets to the East... I never realized how many friends I truly have...(and who actually wanted to see me!) and it sure is a good feeling to know that I have so many friends back East.
I want to thank cousin Lynn and Uncle Ray for allowing me back into their lives after so much time and treating me like it was only yesterday... playing golf with both of them meant more to me than I can ever explain... Seeing Ray (he looks so much like my Dad) brought back so many memories and emotions that I still can't believe I made it through that day without crying...(there are tears in my eyes as I write this and it feels real good). The memory of that round of golf (even though I played horribly) will last two lifetimes...

I want to thank the city of New York for remaining the most exciting and aggravating place I will ever be in... The sights, the sounds, the memories evoked by certain places and certain times of the day, make NYC a place I will always cherish and want to visit. As I meander through this thing we call life, I hope that I will be able to make many visits to the "city that never sleeps".

And last but not least, I would like to thank my friends here in Arizona who welcomed me back with open arms and said they missed me and were glad that I was back...(liars! just kidding). The friends that I have made here are true and I'm lucky to have them. They have made my transition from East to West easier to deal with...(probably because most of them aren't from here originally either).

It's Friday night and guess what East Coast? It's raining! A full fledged thunderstorm erupted about 20 minutes ago and there's still thick gray clouds overhead. I'm hoping this clears out for tomorrow and fireworks... Happy Fourth of July to you all...have a safe and wonderful holiday... Our regularly scheduled blog of events will resume shortly...