Wrestlemania XXVI...

From walking all over God's country (literally) on Saturday in Oak Creek Canyon...(passed the tavern where Craig and I had lunch) to pedaling a bicycle on parking lot patrol at University of Phoenix Stadium on Sunday. I got up Sunday morning at 4:30am after sleeping like a rock after the hike. I had packed most of my security gear already so I showered, shaved, dressed and headed out the door... The weather called for over 80 degrees (do I love this place enough?) but remember that the hottest part of the day is around 4pm, so it was still a little chilly before dawn. I was scheduled to work from 7am to 10pm for Wrestlemania XXVI (oh, yeah, brother!!-please insert Randy "Macho Man" Savage's voice here). I was given the choice of walking the parking lot or patrolling on a bicycle... I chose the bike because the lot (the same one I patrolled for the Cardinal football games) was huge. I got over there and then found out that this particular lot was going to be an overflow lot... (used only after the other lots were full. But they weren't using all the parking lots. They had some in reserve because Paul McCartney was performing across the street at Jobing.Com Arena at 7:30 while the WWE kicked off at 3:30 (PST--only on pay-per-view!--insert Directv announcer voice).

Basically, I pedaled around the empty lot until about 1:30 when the action finally started. My partner pedaled looking for trouble and I did alcohol control leaving the lot... (no tailgating like at a football game, but you can't leave the lot with alcohol). The lot quickly filled up and then the fireworks started inside the stadium and outside too... (which I thoroughly enjoyed). You should have seen the outfits the fans were wearing...(anyone unfamiliar with wrestling can skip this next part). Gold Dust, the Macho Man, the Hulkster, ICP (Insane Clown Posse), CM Punk, and others were all represented with t-shirts and costumes. Fans sporting replica WWE Championship belts, Rey Mysterio masks, and hundreds of posters for the Undertaker and the Heartbreak Kid and Bret the Hitman Hart. Stone Cold Steve Austin and NWO (old school) tees were some of my faves. So after the people were inside the arena we went on break again (not a bad gig even though it was supposed to be 15 hours). Pedaled around to keep the legs from cramping up...(no foot pain today) and waited for the rush to egress (fancy term for leaving, but you already knew that). When the fans came out, all I did was told them to watch the exiting cars, have a good night, and safe trip...(and "Who won the matches"--I'm such a kid!).

The Undertaker beat the Heartbreak Kid (the Streak vs. the Career match) thus ending Shawn Michaels (HBK) career. Bret the Hitman Hart beat the crap out of Vince McMahon (who is 65 yrs old and still fake wrestling--did I write that out loud?). John Cena beat Batista for the Heavyweight Championship and Jack Swagger (great name) won the Money in the Bank match. I know you were all waiting for the results so thanks for reading the rest and not skipping to this part first... The fans filed out while the McCartney fans filed in (Glendale PD had their hands full that night with traffic control). The parking people took their usual abuse from everyone trying to get out of a packed parking lot that had two lanes of exit and I was chatting with the fans and redirecting the ones who came out on the wrong side of the stadium. The lot emptied around 9:15 with only a few cars remaining. I called command and they told us to return so we saddled up and rode across the parking lots back to command to sign out and sit in traffic for the ride home. I took the back streets I have committed to memory (in honor of Back Street Bob, my father) and while it took a little longer at least I was moving. Got home around 10:30, ate a little and crashed...

Sedona in the springtime...

No, the title is not a new boutique store or fashion craze... it is the description of the weekend that I experienced. Saturday morning started around 5am with packing up supplies and hiking gear...(including a hoodie and gloves because Sedona is way cooler than the valley). I brought a cooler with water and my sandwiches and picked up Lacey and Jody at 6:30 and headed to the meeting place in Phoenix. After we we all situated, Warren joined us in the Jeep and off we went to Oak Creek Canyon...($10 per car so we carpooled). Got up there around 10ish and set up the picnic and feasted and then cleaned up and headed on the 6 mile portion of the trail... (there are 3 separate trails at the west fork). This was not my first time at the canyon... (I visited it when I first moved here), but it sure was different this time. Because of the record amount of snow fall in the higher elevations... (we were over 5000 feet above sea level and they had 48" more than average this winter) there was still snow on the ground and the creek which was a trickle you stepped over last time was a raging river this time. We had to cross the creek several times on slime-laden rocks and shaky limbs (tree and our own) and fallen logs... (several members took an ice cold river bath in the 20 degree water). I made it across three times without pitching into the water...(several close calls) before I decided that I wanted to hike and not become an honorary beaver... I made my way back to base camp crossing back across 2 of the crossings unscathed and reached the last before the line coming across was too long to wait. I removed shoes and socks, pulled up my shorts and waded into the river. Hootchie Mama!! That's some cold water!! It was so cold that I lost feeling in my feet halfway across (which, now that I think of it, is not a bad thing). I made it without tumbling (the water was also crystal clear) and sat on the other side trying to get my toes to become mine again.

Shoes with no socks (yuck!), I trudged back to base and chatted with some other non-beavers while drying off and putting my socks back on. The other main trail was described as a moderate hike (more difficult than easy) taking 850 feet up to Thomas Point and a view of the valley second to none. Jody and I decided to try it and off we went. Moderate...(I hate to see what they would consider HARD). This path wound around and up the entire way and had me huffing and puffing after not too long...(because Jody was also huffing & puffing and is younger than I am, I didn't feel too bad). It was also the effect of the elevation... (and the fact that I am so out of shape). We stopped along the way and they didn't lie about the view...it was spectacular. At one point we could see the snow capped top of Humphrey's Peak (the highest point in Arizona--useless factoid of the day). We made it to the top and just hung out. The only sounds were the rushing of the creek down below and the screeching of eagles and hawks... We also saw piles of animal scat (thank you Discovery Channel) and figured there were mountain lions in the area and we decided not to hang out too long. If I saw a mountain lion there would also be some human scat (mine) on that mountain. So, we headed down the mountain and it was harder than the climb... (lots of loose rocks and snow). But we made it and met up with our other carpoolers...(they had to forge the creek several more times after they left us--I'll go back in the summer when the cool water will be a blessing.

We got back in the car and drove down to Phoenix passing through the historic town of Sedona...(the red rock region is a must see for visitors--hint,hint). By the time I dropped off my car mates it was after 8pm and I was exhausted... Had to be up on Sunday morning around 5am to drive to Glendale for work at 7am.

Event & Adventure Week...

Monday came and Steve and I played golf... (ah, the little things that bring joy to one's life) at the Duke in Maricopa. It's named after John Wayne and has a cowboy theme running through it...(it's located on John Wayne Highway, the restaurant is the Silver Spur, there are horseshoes for tee markers, etc). One of my associates from the security company is the starter and we exchanged digits...(that's phone numbers to the unhip, including me until now). Beautiful course, beautiful day and not a bad round... (80 from the tips). Came back and enjoyed some lunch and got ready to host Manic Monday at the driving range in Phoenix. I had never been there so Steve joined me and we picked up Jody (a member living in my hood) and we carpooled to Phoenix. We arrived at 5:45pm and I knew we were in trouble when I saw no lights on the range...(we were scheduled to meet at 6:30pm). I asked the proprietor what time they closed and she said "Dark"...(it gets dark around 6:45--dilemma I say!). So I called the office and asked Amanda to call the members and head them off at the pass...(nice segue from the Duke, eh?). In the meantime I bought some balls and Jody, Steve and I went to the range. The event manager then called me and asked if I wanted to go further away to a lighted facility... (no way, I already paid and I drove an hour already). So about 5 members showed up and hit balls until dark... (not very long). I apologized for the mistake and took their digits (lol) and said I would call them in two weeks and we would get together again at a lighted facility (not involving E&A). They were okay with that so we parted on good terms.

Tuesday I went to dinner at Fibber Magees with a female member of the club who hales from Scotland...(you know I'm a sucker for a woman with an accent). She had her first corned beef and cabbage...(not a favorite across the pond, but an Irish-American tradition) while I had a shepherd's pie... (and a fine one at that, laddie). We talked, tried our luck at the trivia quiz being played in the bar...(she's a math whiz) and planned on going out again in the future... Tuesday also marked the end of Steve's visit. He was off to LA to visit friends before heading back to Oregon...(no word about the job interview--sorry, buddy).

Wednesday, Jody drove this time, was the Phoenix Art Museum and the Ansel Adams exhibit... (Mary Ellen was hosting). I wanted to see her before she left to go work at the Masters in Augusta...(so freaking jealous) and I am a fan of Ansel Adams' work. We walked the museum and caught up on what was going on and then the group went to Hula's for a cocktail and some food... (the pulled pork sandwich and sweet potato fries were delicious). Jody dropped me off at home and we made plans for me driving to Saturday's event... As I went through the mail I discovered a letter from Natalie's school (my niece and godchild) and inside was Flat Stanley... (a paper cut out boy). You keep Stan for awhile, take him out on adventures, take pictures with him, and return him and the pictures to the school... (that paper boy has no idea what he's getting himself into). Needless to say, Stan and I will be very busy in the coming weeks...

Thursday was volleyball in West Phoenix... (or as I called it "V-Ball in the hood"). We went to a park with one court and I was one of the very few Caucasians (not that there's anything wrong with that) in the area. I had to run to KMart to purchase a volleyball and only 5 others showed up (all the regular guys and gals). Another unique aspect of this park was that the ladies restroom facility had no doors on the stalls. Flat Stan kept score and we had a good time... we all exchanged digits (beating this one to death, aren't I?) and will stage a game at our favorite spot (Victory Lane) later this month or April...

I returned to the links and joined an Irish gentleman for a round. George was funny, full of stories and very difficult at first to understand, but I switched my hearing to Irish accent and we had a blast. Can't remember laughing that much and still being able to play a somewhat solid round of golf. But the busiest part of the week, the weekend was ahead. I worked at ASU for the pro scout time trials for the football team (40 yard dash, agility drills, passing, etc.) on Friday (was the only security and requested personally). It was 4 hours of keeping people off the field who didn't belong (easy time). Ran around buying supplies for the big hike in Sedona on Saturday...(up early-picking up Lacey and Jody at 6:30am) Everyone is bringing something to eat so we'll picnic then hike... (I brought subs).

The Suns and the BBQ Throwdown....

Like I said, I had agreed to host the Suns-Jazz basketball game in place of another host... so I had to drive into the office at E&A to pick up the tickets and paperwork then get over to the meeting place. We were meeting at a Park & Ride at Gateway Community College and riding the light rail to the game... (passes for the light rail were included with the tickets). This was my first ride on he light rail so of course I compared it to the NYC subway system... (cleaner but with the same messed up intercom-you couldn't understand what they were saying but the next stop was flashed on an lcd screen and there were maps everywhere). It reminded me more of the airport inter-terminal trains than a subway or regular train, but it was quick and it beat paying 12-20 bucks for downtown parking. I sent one group ahead while I waited for stragglers and then called all the people on my list. Some were at the game already and the rest I left their tickets at will call... (what a wonderful place-you show ID and they give you your tickets). We then went in and were treated to a great game. Exciting and the Suns won! Then we got on the light rail back (after wandering around to find the eastbound train--not in the same spot). Got home around 11:30 and crashed because I had to a 12 hour shift coming up...

Saturday morning and work was only 5 miles away... (really like having these jobs in town). Downtown Chandler was the setting for the first annual BBQ Throwdown. Competition teams from all over the state and southwest were there competing in a BBQ contest in pork, chicken, ribs and brisket. I had no idea what I'd be doing but I saw Tiffany there and she requested that we roam together and that's what we did. We walked around the festival and made sure gates were secure and people were behaving... (but with all the food available the place was crawling with Chandler police--the station was a block away) The smells were incredible and of course we were not allowed to partake although I think I gained a few pounds just from the aroma... They had 3 live bands scheduled and we controlled the access gate for the bands... (once they were in or out we zip tied the fence to keep people from sneaking in. Around noon the first band kicked in and we noticed an old guy get up and start dancing by himself. We tied the fence and went patrolling and when we came back at the end of their set, he was still dancing. He danced during the second band's set and the third...(a total of about 7 1/2 hours!). We found out from the crowd that he's done this before and he goes by Crazy Pete (66 yrs. young) and you can see him in action (although I couldn't find him on UTube he supposedly had done this all over the state). Because it was the first annual there were the usual problems... they expected 5,000 and over 8,300 showed up so they ran out of food around 4:00pm. They didn't have enough garbage cans and porta-johns...(luckily they didn't overflow--I was just glad inspecting them was not one of my job requirements). The crowd thinned out and after the awards were given out... (in more categories than I can name) the crowd disappeared almost entirely (all that was left were the vendors who were all packing up and the families of the third band and Crazy Pete). Crazy Pete disappeared into the night during a break in the last set... (how he was able to walk was a shock to me). The last band finished with a great rendition of Freebird and then we kicked everybody out and the vendors were able to go. We left around 8 pm (a solid 10 1/2 hour day) and let me tell you, I had a craving for some BBQ (now how did that happen?). Instead I settled for some stuffed crust pizza (thanks, Steve) and gatorade and some well deserved sleep...

St. Patrick's Day in the Valley...

After the wild weekend that was, I was looking for some R&R (golf) and having Steve in town was a bonus. We played a couple rounds (game is still coming around--need to tweak a few things in the swing) with one of the guys I work with and I bought some corned beef and cabbage to cook... (Steve had never had it before--poor deprived man). I thought I would have the week off, but scheduling called and asked me to work the opening round NIT (National Invitational Tournament which is really Not In Tournament) game between ASU and Jacksonville on Tuesday night. We were scheduled to do bag checks from 6pm til 8pm when the game started (2 hours work for 4 hrs pay) but by the time they called us to go home it was 9:45... (what the client wants the client gets). I was then scheduled to work an Irish concert (Flogging Molly) at Tempe Lake Park on Wednesday for St. Patrick's Day from 3:30 til 11pm. So I cooked my corned beef and cabbage Wednesday morning and put it away for Thursday.

The game was an inside gig where I just oversaw two other bag checkers and handed out programs. After some of the shifts I had been pulling lately, 4 hours was a cake walk. On Wednesday after cooking I put my green Made In Ireland t-shirt under the purple and khaki and made my way to Tempe Lake Park. The park is built along the banks of the the man made Tempe Town Lake (which was the site of the Ironman race and PF Chang's marathon). They had vendor booths and a huge stage and I was assigned to be a roamer at first but then was given a scanner and I scanned internet tickets at the main gate...(at least I could hear the music from my position). The bands started playing around 5 and Flogging Molly (who have a huge fan following) went on around 8. People continued to come in (the fashionably late) and since there was no re-entry there were some arguments when some inebriated fans wandered out the gates, but nothing that we couldn't handle. The show ended at 10 and the security inside herded the patrons to the exits where my crew and I did alcohol control (no liquids other than water leave the park). There were cabs and bicycle taxis for the totally gone and many revelers walked to their next destination... (flashback sequence-- Stumbling to the bar after the New York City St. Patrick's Day Parade was over, then taking the train to New Jersey for more bars and Irish festivities). The crowd was fairly obedient and no one caused any trouble. Got home around 11:30 after dropping a co-worker at home... (at least he lived on my way home).

I then got a call from one of the hosts at E&A asking me to fill in for him at the Suns-Jazz basketball game on Friday night...(he had to return to Portland for a family issue). Free ticket to the game? Sure I'll fill in. Then I get the call for work asking me to work an event in Chandler all day Saturday... (9:30 am to 9:30 pm). Security man is in high demand and I love working gigs in my hometown... Thursday afternoon during the NCAA deluge of games, Steve and I enjoyed my corned beef and cabbage and potatoes and Irish soda bread...

Sunday in Surprise...

And the weekend continued... After falling asleep around 5 am on Sunday morning, my alarm rang around 9am rousing me from the "sleep of the dead"... (the kind where you wake up on a drool soaked pillow and aren't really sure where you are or what day it is). It's time to put on my happy hosting face and drive out to Surprise, Arizona for a pre-season baseball game between the Texas Rangers and the Arizona Diamondbacks. Surprise is an hour drive one way, hence the early (sleep deprived but up and at 'em) start to my day. I wore my D-backs t-shirt and shorts... (temps were going into the high 70's) and had my hosting gear and tickets and after a stop at Dunkin' Donuts for a gallon of coffee, off I went. Traffic didn't get bad until I reached about a mile from the stadium but I got in and the parking was free (bonus), the sun was shining (what else? it's Arizona) and I was early. I found one of our members and we chatted and put on sun block and as it got close to game time, no one else was showing up... I called the people on my list and they were all stuck in stadium traffic so I waited and then we all went into the game. We had lawn seats...(no actual seats, just pull up a piece of grass and sit down). The grass was warm and green... (took off my shoes and socks). It sure felt good to have real grass between my toes again. One of the ladies brought a tarp and after introducing everyone and chatting for a half inning, I explained my weekend and went down for a much needed nap... After waking in the sixth inning (boy, did that hit the spot!), I watched the D-backs cruise to victory over the Rangers... (luckily no one hit a ball over the fence at us). I said goodbye to all and made my way to the car. I was blocked in so I put the Jeep in 4 wheel drive and climbed the curb, crossed the lawn and beat it out the back way... (love that Jeep!). Got home around 4ish and zombied my way through the rest of the afternoon... (so tired that I couldn't fall asleep).

Around 8 o'clock Steve, my friend from Oregon, arrived at the door and started his visit. He drove all the way from Oregon to get to a job interview on Monday in Mesa, Az. He's staying for a few days for the interview and to play a little golf. I lasted til around 9:30 and collapsed into the bed. What a weekend that was!

A couple of things off the beaten path that I must share with you. Those of you that know me and have kept up with my goings on out here, know that I have an off beat sense of humor and find humor in almost everything. I'm going through the mail and I receive an offer to plan for my ultimate demise with a very nice crematorium. Reading through the brochure I come upon the incentive card for signing up with this particular crematorium. It seems they will give me a $25.00 GAS card if I use their services and I can't help but think--Is that GAS for my vehicle or is it a coupon for the GAS to cook my remains? Then later on in the pile I come across a letter that states that GOD wants me to be rich! That's right folks, God mandates in the Bible that I should and must be rich and if I send $29.95, God's ultimate plan for wordly riches will be revealed to me... (can't tell you how long and hard I laughed at that one). Don't you think that God would have revealed this to me in a more personal way... (and not for $29.95!). It offended my beliefs, it offended my intelligence and it made me laugh out loud. A-plus for originality and eye-catching advertising, F for sensitivity and political correctness...(how this was able to be mailed without outrage from every religious group imaginable is beyond me). But for pure entertainment value it was a gem...

Security tug of war...

As you know, I got home a little after 8am on Saturday morning after a 15 hour split shift... I had just collapsed into a coma when the phone rang... (it was 9:30) and Megan from scheduling asked me if I was available to work in Tempe later that night. I'm already working two gigs later today but what is this one? We really need you to do this, it's a new client and I'll find someone else to cover your other gigs tonight. It's from 7pm til 2am...(which is less hours but not having to go another 15 hour shift was pretty appealing). Sure, I'll do the Tempe gig if you can find people to cover the overnight and wedding in Chandler. Now how about some sleep? Thanks and sorry for waking you up... Back into a coma within minutes and then the phone rang... (it was 11:00). Sam from my company on the phone... Jim you need to pick up an IDV machine (Identification Verifying) for the gig in Tempe later. Can you drop it off at the Ostrich festival and I'll pick it up on my way to Tempe? Sure. There are only three of you for this, so I need you to be the lead... (congratulations on your promotion). OK, Sam. Now how about some sleep? You're the best, Jim. Once again I slip into sweet unconsciousness and then the phone rang... (AAARRRGGGHH! it was 12:00). This time it was Bob the night scheduler. Hey, Jim you're all set for tonight right? No. I've been switched out. Call Megan and she'll explain. No one tells me anything! Sorry, Bob. Call Megan. Now how about some sleep? By this time of course you realize that any actual rest is out of the question so I tossed and turned til about 2 pm, showered and donned the purple and khaki and drove over to the festival to pick up my machine and go to my gig. When I did the overnights I parked right next to the command trailer, but today I had to park in the vendor lot all the way on the other side of the park and hoof it to command... I got my IDV (its a fancier credit card machine that scans the barcodes on licenses and tells you if they are OK to drink) and then I hoofed it back to the car and drove to Tempe...

I found a parking spot in a lot for 5 bucks... (they were open until late) and went to the corner of Mill St and 5th... (that was where the meet was, no building or location other than that). Using my managerial skills I called the contact person and he told me the gig was on the roof above the bank right next to me... (a private party to launch the flagship store of a guy selling hip hop t-shirts and clothing to the x-games and hip hop crowd). The other two guys showed up and I handed the IDV to one of them...(I wasn't going to check IDs, I was the lead. I'm going where the action is). One guy downstairs to card everyone and two guys upstairs to roam and keep the peace. The rooftop area was gorgeous with a huge fire pit and heaters and bar area and VIP lounge and DJ stations. The music was loud, the crowd was loud, but there were no problems... (a LOT of Grey Goose was being consumed). Around midnight I cleared out the front of the fire pit for the fashion show runway and several models (male and female) strutted out sporting the clothing line. Pictures and videos galore, music still pumping and people everywhere... Around 2 am the building manager told the DJ's that Tempe's finest were looking to shut it down and the last song played about 2:15am. My roaming partner and I then herded the crowd out... "Let's go everyone...you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here" (flashback sequence-I sure heard that said to ME enough back in the day). We got the last of them out by 2:30am... (very drunk but very cooperative--must have been my imposing presence--lol). I helped the promoter and building manager sweep all the rooms for stragglers and the unconscious and escorted him to his vehicle and called Bob the night guy at 3am to end our shift... It was then that the other two guys informed me that they took the light rail to this gig...(and the last train ends at 2:15am). So I got a tour of North Central Phoenix because I drove them both home... (good deed equals good karma). By the time I got home it was 4:30am and I had to be in Surprise Arizona to host a baseball game by 12:30... (I guess I'll sleep next week).

The longest night... (not a movie)

Friday night?? (it gets confusing when you work overnights) started at 5pm at the Inspirador for a wedding with me at the front door as a greeter...(and yes, after meeting me they still wanted to go in), and alcohol control...(no one was allowed to bring a drink other than water outside the venue). I was dressed in black pants, shirt and shoes and it was an intimate gathering (around 75-100 guests). It was a mixed marriage--man and woman (you thought I was going to say something else didn't you?). The groom was from Arizona and the bride from North Dakota. So talking to the guests... (I usually entertain the smoking crowd because they need to be outside) it was like being on the set of a remake of the movie Fargo. But they were cool and we swapped stories... (they knew I was not from Arizona--it was my Jersey accent I guess). Lots of hunting and fishing and stories of 1800 people in a town compared to stories of Manhattan and millions of people and mind-numbing traffic. I was regaled by one story of a bull moose charging after one guy in his own backyard... (its shoulders were taller than he was). It chased him into the house 3 separate times (I couldn't figure out why he kept going back out there!). But what a great story for "Why are you late for work?" (I know I couldn't top that one). These people were partying hard but they followed my rules, but instead of 11pm, I didn't get out of there til 11:45... (I changed into my khakis and purple at the venue, called Bob the night guy and hightailed it over to Tumbleweed Park to start my midnight to 8am shift.

I met a vendor around 1am who was firing up his meat smoker to get it ready for the days activities (that particular grill was a frequent stop to warm my extremities that night). Around 3 am (he was actually living on the grounds in his RV) he put the meat in there and around 4am I wished I had a knife and fork to raid the grill... There was a new addition to the animal menagerie also... Four horses and 3 huge camels were penned up together across from the other animals... (they had pony and camel rides for anyone interested). I talked with the cops who stopped by and made sure everything was good. I even had a golf cart to tool around, but I preferred walking... (no windshield on the cart made it even colder and walking kept me awake). Around 6 am the camera crews returned for another round of interviews and ostrich gawking. I'm glad they did because I needed something to keep me going (seriously running out of gas). The coolest thing was that when I approached the petting zoo most of the animals got up and followed me in their pens looking for a handout (there were bales of hay so I obliged with some irregular feedings). A goat that was born on Thursday night (so cute) was bouncing around trying to get his legs under him to work... (amazing how they come out ready to go). At 8am on the dot I was in the car and luckily for me the ride was quick, I made it home when the phone rang... (it was the day boss. They didn't start til 9:30 and they wanted me to stay there until they showed up to guard the parking lot and keep vendors out). I told him I was home already and going since 5 last night and had to sleep...(I was supposed to do the same shift-5pm to 11 then midnight to 8am on Saturday night, which was today already). I told you it gets confusing.

It may seem that I am working the kind of hours I did in New Jersey (the kind of hours that made the decision to come out here so easy) but you must remember that I don't HAVE to work this many hours, I CHOOSE to work this many hours. When they call me for a gig, I decide whether or not to work it... (if I have something else going on I just refuse and they get someone else). Its just that work is available right now and dries up in the summer months so why not pile on some hours. And working the overnights is a cool (literally) change from crowd control and drunks and such... (but I do love the interaction with the crowd). It's a whole new group to test my material and mess with as "Security Man". And being in demand as a security guard is a good thing...(not only do I get called but I usually get a good spot to work an event).

Overnights at the Ostrich Festival...

Yes, I said the Ostrich festival... it's an annual event here in Chandler. Three days (reminded me of a larger Winfield Carnival--is that still a happening back in Jersey?). It is held each year at Tumbleweed Park (love that name) which is a HUGE park here in my home town. Carnival rides, carnival games, kids park, petting zoo, food vendors, the whole nine yards. The area is fenced off around the perimeter with gate entries so that the vendors and maintenance people can come and set up and clean up and restock. My job was to make sure the gates were closed and keep out anyone who didn't belong and patrol the grounds. I reported for work at 10pm and it was me and one other guy. We walked around the whole park and divided it up in two sections... he would patrol the southern half and I would take of the northern half. Spent the first hour walking the perimeter and closing off all the vendor entrances and blocking the roads leading into the venue...(vendors were allowed in from 6am-9am every morning to service their booths). Then I spent the rest of the time walking the huge park and meeting the guys who were staying there...(the ride crews and electrical crew and the sound stage set up people had RV's parked inside so I gave them my phone # in case they needed anything).

It was clear and in the 40's that night (freezing in Arizona). I had more layers than a wedding cake on including gloves and a wool hat... It's pretty eerie walking around a carnival at night but after shooting baskets for a while and visiting the animals...(lots of goats, sheep, an alpaca, a texas longhorn, a cebu, a watusi, a yak and water buffalo and of course 3 ostriches), walking the perimeter wasn't too bad. Around 4 am I noticed a car slowly making its way towards the back of the venue. I hiked down ready to toss them, but it was the head of the Chamber of Commerce and she informed me that the news crews were coming at 5am to do remotes with the ostriches and the handlers and interviews with the principals of the festival. So the next 2 hours was spent directing traffic and making sure the people coming in were news people. Then around 5:45am I opened the main roads but left the vendor gates closed and I was done with my shift at 6am. Drove home and hit the bed because Saturday was a double shift at two different venues... (5pm-11pm and then midnight til 8am)... It's nice to be wanted (I guess)...

Back to the basics

Wednesday I got a phone call from one of the guys that I worked with last week inviting me to play golf in Phoenix... (I was going to take it easy one more day, but it's golf right?) So I played with two guys from work on Wednesday and did a solo round on Thursday incorporating the stuff I learned from watching the pros last week... (shot 2 rounds in the 70's--score not temperature). The game is starting to come around. Even my putting is improving and that's saying a lot. It sure is great to see the sun shining again... (I guess complaining about some rainy days compared to what my East Coast friends are enduring is petty, but hey! it don't snow here and that's why I'm here). This time of year is truly beautiful. It's chilly in the morning and evening (hooded sweats or light jacket) and warm during the day. Played Maryvale Municipal course on Wednesday and The Legacy on Thursday (one of my top 10 courses--if any of my golfing friends come here it's a must stop). The rest of the week I spent catching up on mail and shopping and household chores that I couldn't get done during the previous week. I am working a bunch of overnight security gigs next week (more on those in future blogs) and the next event planned is a spring training game in Mesa with the Cubs playing the Dodgers...

More golf next week also... it's good to have some new golf buddies from work... (not that I won't go out there by myself and make new friends--it's golf right?).

Monday and Tuesday after the Open

I woke up Monday morning feeling like I participated in a bull riding rodeo... My blisters had blisters, my feet and legs ached and I was sooooooo glad I didn't have to go anywhere. I spent the day licking (figuratively) my wounds and had a day long pampering... (Spent more time off my feet than a cheap hooker). After two naps and sleeping in the chair in front of the TV, I began to feel better late that night... Tomorrow would be more of the same. The only thing I had planned was to host a dinner at an Indian restaurant in Scottsdale and the group was small... I have never eaten Indian food so this would be a true adventure...

Tuesday left me feeling a heck of a lot better when I woke up, but I still took it easy and spent the morning re-hydrating and massaging my poor foots... Went to the chiropractor in the afternoon for a tune-up... (Sounded like kindling being broken up for the fireplace). I then came home and changed and grabbed my hosting paperwork and headed off to the Jewel of the Crown in old town Scottsdale. It's a small Indian restaurant right across the park from the Scottsdale Center for the Performing Arts (I had worked a Greek festival last year in that same park). Very nice people in the restaurant and only 6 of the nine people showed up (3 guys, 3 girls), so it was a small dinner party. One of the women was an Indian food aficionado so she helped us with our choices and so did the waitress. Since it was just six of us, we all ordered something different and with differing degrees of spice and heat and then shared it with everybody else. I had vegetable samosa (potato and peas deep fried in a crispy pastry) and then shrimp tandoori with extra heat...(tandoori is mild but you can order it extra spicy--vindaloo is the hottest stuff on the menu and lives up to its reputation--I will be ordering that the next time I go "Indian"). Everything was delicious and the entire evening was a success...

Home in time for another soak... (I don't understand why I'm the only one using the hot tub but I'm not complaining. someone has to take advantage of the amenities). I think one more day off the feet before I attempt a round of golf on Thursday or Friday... (will work for greens fees hit the jackpot last week with all those hours).

Sunday at the Open

I can't believe I actually woke up on time today... I didn't get home until after 1am last night and with the wind and rain and violent thunderstorm, it felt like the "nap" I took lasted 4 minutes. I did the zombie walk to the shower...(eyes closed, feet dragging, moaning) and stood there hoping the water would awake me (no such luck). I am in the grips of sleep deprivation and can't seem to shake it... I put myself and the car on auto pilot and make to the course on time and wait for my natural "energy" pills to take effect... (got them at PF Changs marathon--all natural, no jitters, no gastric distress, no crash). Washed them down with a gallon of coffee and hoped for the best. Bad news was because Zach didn't make a move on Saturday, I was given a different threesome for the final round (Ryuji Imada, Mark Wilson and Matthew Goggin). I discovered that I can walk and be observant and do my job just this side of unconsciousness... (I'm not sure I remember holes 2,3 and 4). Then, the energy pills kicked in and I was alert for the rest of the round. Matt Goggin made a late move and finished tied for third and the other guys played well but Hunter Mahan shot 65 and held off Ricky Fowler and Y.E. Yang to win the tournament. I stayed with the group until they signed their cards, did an interview and signed some autographs and was then deployed to the 18th green for the award ceremony... (keep the fans from crowding onto the green. I saw some of my bicycle police friends from the night before at the Bird's Nest... (this crowd was a lot easier than the last nights). The Thunderbirds came walking en masse down the 18th hole and Hunter Mahan was introduced and given the trophy and huge check (both in size and amount---$1,008,000 was the winner's share). Then the Thunderbird families joined together on the green... (PLEASE wrap this up already!!!). Then came the sweeping of the stragglers off the course and finally around 6 pm we all headed to command to sign out for the last time... I dragged my weary body back to the car and noticed a guy doing the "I can't remember where my car is" spin around in the parking lot... (a little tipsy, I may say). I put him in my car and drove around the parking lot and found his car... (nowhere near where he swore he parked that morning). He thanked me and off I went... (Good karma and good deeds do not go unrewarded. A little friendly tidbit from your Uncle Jim).

I made it home in one piece and stripped down and hopped (with bathing suit) into the hot tub for a two cycle soak. I lay back with my arms out and nodded off in the deliciously hot water. Then I was shocked awake by something rubbing on my arm. I almost jumped completely out of the water, thinking a coyote was gnawing on my arm... (in reality it was the neighborhood cat licking my arm). That expended all the energy I had left and I dragged myself into the house and collapsed in bed...

Some things I learned about this week's adventure... 1.I will look into an exchange week with my timeshare and book that week next year in the Scottsdale area and share it with a select group of associates for a fee or live there myself to cut down on the commute. 2. Always be prepared to work longer than scheduled each day even they don't tell or call you ahead of time. 3. Hot food and hot tub are sometimes more important than a good night's sleep. 4. Take care of the feet because foot pain is the killer when you walk everyday for 12-13 hours. 5. This was the sweetest gig I ever had as a security dude and even if I must find a regular job (Heavens forbid!), I will use a vacation week and work this golf tournament...

The Longest Day... (not the movie)

Saturday began like every other day this week... up at the crack of dark (not sure what day it was until I checked the weather channel), packed my backpack with cold weather gear and rain ponchos (not getting soaked again this week) and off to the golf course. Because one golfer decided it was too dark yesterday to finish putting on the 18th hole, none of us knew when our golfers were teeing off, so we hung around the clubhouse and waited for him to putt. He made the birdie and then within 45 minutes the pairings sheet came out... (after the cut the top 70 and ties are arranged in threesomes according to score with the leaders going out last). Because of the poor weather coming in the afternoon, they sent golfers out on both nines to get them finished early. Zach Johnson struggled to an even par 71 and fell 6 shots back, Greg Chalmers ballooned to a 73 but Robert Allenby (Aussie) after bogeying 2 of the first 3 holes, came back with 4 birdies and finished with a 69 to put him 4 back of the leader. Zach was very disappointed with his round and didn't go to the practice range, so after he signed his scorecard (I hung out with his parents while we waited) and he signed a few autographs and chatted with family and friends, he left and so did I...

Not so fast, Mr. Jim... Call from Sammy (lead), go back to the secret hideout for another "private" party for the Thunderbirds... Walk down there to find out that the party was cancelled, everyone heading to the Bird's Nest for the final night and O.A.R. concert... Back to command and sign out for the day, right? WRONG! "Hey, Jim didn't you say you could work tonight if we needed you?" Uhhhhhhh, yeah... "Well we need you. Head over to the Bird's Nest..." G-r-e-a-t!
I have never been to the Bird's Nest so I figured how hard could it be... (at least I get to see what the fuss is all about this place). It was a freaking zoo at 6pm. At first I guarded an "exit" only spot with a hundred people giving me stories how they had to come in that way... NO! Then they moved me inside to the main tent. The entrance was gated like most venues. Then you had an outdoor hangout with tables and food and drink vendors and porta-johns (toilets) and then there was the main tent where the concert and bars and private VIP areas were... (the VIP areas had covered areas with couches and chairs and a private bar and bathrooms). There was no indoor restrooms for the regular crowd and that fact will haunt me for a long time (see explanation below).

OAR was the band booked for the evening live concert... Little did we know that they oversold tickets for the concert and didn't anticipate the size of the crowd...(last year the Phoenix Open was held on Super Bowl weekend and the Cardinals were playing so there wasn't that many people). This year's event was pushed to the end of the month and anyone and everyone showed up for this show. Not only that, but they didn't close the venue to just ticket holders so anyone could jam into the tent... (and jam in they did). The fire marshal declared too many people were coming in and told us to shut down the gate and no one else was allowed in... Bicycle racks were put up and then the poop (keeping it clean) hit the fan. After explaining at least 1000 times that the venue was closed (I have tickets, my wife/husband is in there, my friends are in there and I have no ride and hundreds of other stories) the patrons tried storming the place and Scottsdale's bicycle cops came to back me up... (but I was on the front line). People came up to me from inside and asked me where the bathrooms were... "They are outside, but if you leave to use them, you CAN'T come back in." (explanation). Threatened, pleaded with and offered wads of cash and other interesting offers (thanks but no thanks, ladies), I held my ground and lost my voice. They wouldn't stop pushing and I finally lost it and went "Jersey" on the crowd to the delight of the officers behind me... (I thought I had mellowed out West, but I lit into that crowd and they just stared back wide-eyed and open-mouthed. I quit drinking and smoking, but evidently I can still curse like a sailor, and I did).

News came over the radio... (which I could barely hear) that anyone having tickets would be refunded the next day. That really calmed the crowd (sarcasm insert). Two patrons were painfully removed from the "gang" by Scottsdale finest for pushing and the questions and threats kept coming. Even though it was an hour, it seemed like a lifetime... (I finally resorted to "I don't care if you ever get in , sir" and "I didn't oversell the tickets, ma'am"). Then news came in that they would allow 75 people in... (there were hundreds out there). I turned to the cops and told them that I wanted to choose the 75... they agreed. So I hand picked the best stories and people that didn't give me a rash of poop and let them in... (Threatened one guy with personal expulsion and beatdown if he pushed again--the "Jersey" was out of control). Then they announced that everyone could come in a slow orderly fashion... (good luck with that). All of a sudden, I'm everyone's hero. After everyone went in, I went outside and just tried to breathe. Letting myself go "Jersey" was quite therapeutic but expended way too much energy. I roamed around, listened to the concert and bitched and moaned about front-line duty... (I'm too old for this s*&^!--Danny Glover from Lethal Weapon). But I survived and then around 11pm I got to kick out everyone I let in a few hours ago... (couldn't find the one guy I threatened--that would have been sweet). And then the skies opened and I had to stand in the rain waiting to check out. I was so wired I skipped the shuttle and walked (after 17 hours) the half mile back to the car and drove home for a short nap and then back to the course for the final day...

Friday at the Open with Jim

Sleep deprivation and the long hours are taking its toll but it sure beats standing in a parking lot for 13 hours... (my job at last year's Open). My tee time wasn't until almost 1pm... the first two days of the tournament you play with the same group but reverse tee times... early Thursday-late Friday and vice versa... (I know I explained this already but I wanted to use vice versa in a blog). So I spent the morning roaming the grounds, visiting the driving range, putting green, clubhouse, etc... with Ron ("We can go anywhere we want") my roaming partner... Having a security shirt and radio is like an "all access" or backstage pass, allowing us to go into places that the regular paying crowd can't... (just doing my job). No one says anything to us. I really got a heavy dose of behind the scene action at the golf tournament and was loving every minute of it.

I went out around 1pm and enjoyed another walk around the golf course... Today my three golfers had their scoring hats on as Zach Johnson shot a 68 (-8 for two days), Ryan Moore shot another 66 (-10) and Nick Watney burned up the TPC for a second round 63 (-5) including an eagle on the 595 yard 13th hole (Driver right down the middle, and an iron within 5 feet of the hole---an IRON!). These guys put on a show for the fans (I was in awe at their shotmaking ability). You only get a taste of how good these guys are on TV, but watching them play every day, you realize how good they really are... (can't wait to go play myself and implement some things I have observed). The round ended around 5:45 and after herding all the fans out of the grounds...(including some spirited "debate" with some inebriated fans), I went back to command to sign out, forgetting that I had "volunteered" (at gunpoint--not literally) to help at the Birds Nest, if needed. I asked at command if they needed me Friday night and I wasn't on the list!! But she put me on the yes list for Saturday night, if they needed me... (which meant hot food and hot tub for my aching dogs and a little catch-up on some sleep).

The hot tub, foot massage and horizontal position was just what this walking machine needed and I barely got the alarm set before I passed out for the night... (and dreamed they wouldn't need me for extra hours tomorrow night). The weather report for Saturday was ominous and they scheduled all golfers to tee off between 9-11am on both nines because of high wind warnings in the afternoon and a storm cell coming through Saturday night. One golfer had to finish a putt in the morning before they made the cut and pairings for the weekend, so I didn't know what time I was going out...(like it mattered-I was there at the crack of dark every day)...

Opening round of the Phoenix Open--Thursday

Spoiled myself last night with a good night's sleep and a hot meal... (it's the little things in life that bring the most pleasure). Up at the crack of dark and up the 101 to TPC Scottsdale I go to follow Zach Johnson on a nature walk that I love (who wouldn't enjoy a five mile hike on a golf course). The pros are broken up into threesomes and I have three young guns my group... (Zach, Ryan Moore and Nick Watney). With a full field event they send groups off the first tee and the tenth tee from 7:15 to 11:00 am and then another group on both tees in the afternoon. If your golfer plays early on Thursday, then he will have an afternoon tee time on Friday. After two rounds, they then cut the field to the top 70 players plus ties for the weekend round... (those that "miss the cut" get the weekend off and no cash). We teed off early and the crowd was small but well behaved and I didn't have to do more than keep up with the group and watch some great golf... (have I mentioned that this is the sweetest gig EVER?). Zach started with nine straight pars and then went 5 under par on the back nine (five birdies and four pars) for an opening round of 66. Ryan Moore also fashioned a 66, but Nick Watney had trouble all day and struggled to a 74 and +3 for the opening round... (struggled for 74---I wish that was the extent of my struggling). We finished early and went back to the practice area for an hour or so and then I passed the time watching for fights or unruly behavior... (my feet were starting to bark by now, a common ailment of the security guard. The thick wet rough had caused a blister or two on the bottom of my feet).

About 4pm I got a call on the radio...(radio and ear piece every day---felt like the "not so secret" service). It's funny listening to the chatter on the radio while walking the course because you hear all the trouble going on in the concession areas and liquid libation areas and get a real taste of whats involved in securing this venue for the week... (not as easy as it sounds). Anyway, a call comes to me and my roaming partner to report to command for a special assignment... (I guess going home on time is out of the question). We are taken to a private party...(if you didn't know where it was you couldn't find it--that's all I'm at liberty to say). I worked outside and Ron worked inside. No one got in without a special escort...(and that's all I'm at liberty to say). We were there until 7:30pm when everyone left to go the Bird's Nest to party... (A huge tent that had bars and live music that ran until 10pm or so). So after the special assignment we hobbled back to command and signed out and went home. The dogs got a hot tub soak and foot massage (thanks, Beck!) and then I passed out for the evening...

Wednesday at the Phoenix Open

Arrived at 5:45am after a blistering three and half hour nap... (I knew about this going in but you're never totally prepared). My shoulders ached a little still from being pummeled by the fence on Monday, but not enough to seek treatment...(I have a chiropractor appointment on March 2). I was assigned to Zach Johnson, a touring pro hailing from Cedar Rapids, Iowa... (That Iowa connection--can't seem to get away from it--nor do I want to--love ALL my cousins). He was playing in the Pro-Am with a group of local businessmen and my job was to keep the fans from misbehaving... the pros would sign autographs all day, so I stayed close to keep the fans from over stepping the boundaries. I would meet him and his caddy at the clubhouse, walk him to the driving range, wait while he warmed up, escort him to the putting green, wait while he practiced and then escort him to the first tee and walk the course while he played the practice round. I have never met so many people from Iowa before as his fans followed him around the course...(Arizona is to the Midwest as Florida is to the East Coast). Everyone announced their town or city in Iowa after each hole as Zach signed a few autographs. Nothing out of the ordinary happened and I enjoyed the walking tour of the course and the relaxed atmosphere of the Pro-Am round. Tomorrow was game face day when the pros went to work and the autograph seekers would have to wait until after the round.

When he finished the practice round he went back to the range and putting green for a while and I stayed with him...(we were told to stay with the pro until he was ready to leave the golf course). Then I walked him back to the clubhouse and told him I would be there Thursday. I asked his caddy when I should be there and he told me an hour before tee time. He was scheduled to tee off at 9:30 am on Thursday. He left and I walked the course ("roamed" in security speak) answering questions and giving directions and enjoying watching the fans until around 5pm when we went to the concession stands and helped clear them of patrons ("sweeping" in security speak). Went fairly quickly as all the golf was done, it was getting dusk and it was time to go... Again no incidents... (loving it). I actually got out of there at 6pm (only 12 hours) but again sat in mad traffic on the way home. Hot tub, hot food and in bed early. Showtime starts tomorrow... Trivia of the day--it was Zach Johnson's birthday Wednesday (34) and the Thunderbirds and fans made a fuss...(don't remember my 34th year--still way under the influence with no light at the end of the tunnel yet). But I wished him happy birthday just the same.

P.S. When walking with him he asked me where I was from and I told him New Jersey and I mentioned my cousins from Iowa as a common thread between him and I. Just the kind of guy I am, cousins...

Day 2 (Phoenix Open)

Tuesday began with the Arizona weather I have come to expect (and is the envy of everyone who doesn't live here). Of course it was still dark when I crawled out of bed and made my way to Scottsdale. The TPC Scottsdale is a course anyone can play ($287.00 for 18 holes this time of year--yikes!). I will play in the summer when the only the weather is over 100... (greens fees go down to about 60 bucks in July). The course was in wonderful shape with rough that was thick and difficult to get out of... (it was hard to walk through--imagine trying to hit a golf ball out of it). Since there was no golfers assigned yet, I roamed with another guy all over the course and was at the putting green for the Special Olympics/Celebrity Putting Challenge. One celebrity (Mark Grace and Luis Gonzalez from the Diamondbacks plus local tv and business people) and one pro golfer (Rocco Mediate, Billy Mayfair and others) teamed up with a Special Olympian in a putting challenge (I guess you figured that part out from the name---DUH!). After it was done, the Thunderbirds presented a check for $55,000 to Special Olympics (this tournament raises the most money for charity on tour including a record 8.6 million dollars in 2008). It was great seeing the softer side of the players and they really enjoyed the event.

So after doing much walking around the venue, at 4pm I reported back to command for my next assignment--the kick-off party for the tournament. I changed into my black shirt, pants and shoes (I do clean up well, I must say, although a shower would have been appreciated). We were transported (there were only 7 of us so I should be honored they thought of me) to the Scottsdale Airport where they were having the party in one of the hangars. All the positions were outdoors except for one in the lobby, greeting the guests (and you know who was inside--must be my natural charm and shyness). Turns out I stepped in a big pile of doo-doo (trying to keep this a family blog) because once the sun went down the temperature dropped and the wind picked up... (we were wearing short sleeve shirts and no jackets and my peeps were freezing their butts off). The weather was delightful inside as I directed guests and assisted the all woman volunteer corp with whatever they needed. Needless to say, I got some evil looks from my compatriots when they came in to use the facilities and catch some warmth. The party ended around 11pm and I was able to score some free golf balls from the CEO of Waste Management... (which I shared with the boys outside). These golf balls were made from 100% recycled materials... (sort of like hot dogs). Will test them out next week on the golf course. Home after midnight. Let the sleep deprivation begin!!

Day 1 of the Waste Management Phoenix Open

I awoke at 3:30am on Monday the 21st... (I forgot what a joy it is to arise that early). The reason I awoke so early is that I had to be at the course and signed in by 5:45am. The golf course is located in Scottsdale, which is north of me, which means anyone and everyone is going that way to get to Phoenix and their jobs. By arising extra early, I avoid some traffic and get a close parking spot for the end of the day... (after 13 or so hours walking to the car is a chore). The main parking lot is about a quarter of a mile from the front gate and there are shuttles to the security "command center" a little farther down the road. But the best news of the day was that it was miserable out...cold and raining and gloomy (kind of like every day back East lately minus the snow). Because there were very few golfers practicing, I walked the course with my lead guy and got familiar with the egress (fancy word for exit) points of each hole. My job for the week was to follow a golfer assigned to me and walk the course while he played and keep the fans away... (a sweeter gig I cannot imagine). Since it was miserable (I got soaked through at least 4 different times during the day) we followed one courageous pro (Nick Thompson) and his corporate golf mates around the course and Jake showed me the finer points of the course... (including "Tiger's Rock"-- the boulder moved by the gallery during one tournament and J.B. Holmes' plaque on 18 where his drive traveled over 360 yards the year he won the Phoenix Open). We also entered the "arena" (16th hole) which is the rowdiest hole in any PGA tournament bar none. It is completely closed in now with bleachers and skyboxes and it will get mighty loud come tourney time this weekend... (that weekend being the last in February, since I'm behind in my blogging).

After slogging around we were told to roam the grounds and look for drunks in the bar areas and food courts and Jake introduced me to the tournament volunteers and police working the event. Also showed me where to get free coffee and snacks each morning... (as personal security we were allowed to eat and drink what the players were offered since we were "inside the ropes"). Around 4:30 the last big rain came and brought some serious wind with it. The temporary fencing across from the main entrance was blowing down so we went over to secure it. The valet stand was there and as I was telling the girl there that she should move the stand, the wind blew the fence over and it slammed me across the shoulder blades. Luckily for the valet girl... (not valley girl--Whatever!) I was able to keep the fence from hitting her and she got out of the way before the rest of the fence toppled down. I filled out an accident report (just in case) but I was just sore. We signed out at 6pm and rode the shuttle back to the parking lot and then I sat in traffic...(accident on "the" 101). What is normally a half hour commute turned into an hour and a half...(luckily I was sitting down the whole time). Got home around 7:30, threw my clothes in the washer for Tuesday and threw myself in the hot tub for a couple cycles...

Oh yeah! Just before i left work for the day, one of the supervisors says "Jim, you ready for the party tomorrow night?" What party? Didn't they call you? The Thunderbirds (local group who sponsors the tournament) are having their "kickoff" party and we want you to work it...after your 12 hour shift on Tuesday. Bring black pants and shoes and we'll give you the black shirt. First I was hearing about it... (and it didn't get me out of it either). Something else to look forward to. At least the traffic will be gone by then...

Did you miss me?

I sure missed you... (although I really can't tell if you have until Sister Sheryl sends me a "where's the blog" message). I must believe that my reader(s) enjoy my adventures so that I will continue to blog away (not that I wouldn't do this purely for my own enjoyment anyway). Besides, this is a great way to chronicle my "golden years"... God forbid I contract Alzheimer's and forget who I am. At least I can read about what I did... (if I remember how to access these records). But enough ranting about what might become of me... let me regale you about what HAS happened to me since the last time we "spoke."

When last I left you it was Super Bowl and overnight gigs and hosting events again... Mike and Rose came to visit from New Jersey and we did golf and dinner (at least some of my friends are coming to visit--insert guilt here). We had some great laughs as we always do and I was able to let my "Jersey" attitude out of its hiding place and unleash some vicious sarcasm... (I love my new home, but they just don't get my sarcastic side. Too literal here). I am more than happy to keep it at bay but it does feel good to let it loose every so often. They left on Sunday and I began the marathon week of the Waste Management Phoenix Open... (seven glorious days of 12 plus hours per day). Each day stands alone as an adventure in itself, so I will treat them as individual blogs and give you something to look forward to in the coming days. As you have probably ascertained, I survived the week... (my readers are highly gifted and intelligent). But I wanted to write this to let you know that I am alive and have refreshed my need to return to the blogger that you all know and love...

All great writers (and non-great writers like myself) go into periods of not writing... I have weathered that storm and return to the fray with many things to write and say (as if I could go long without writing or saying anything). So look for a barrage of verbiage and blogs to come spewing forth like molten magma from the volcano that is my mind... (oh, brother). I definitely have let sleep deprivation go too far. Flowery language aside, it's good to be back in front of the keyboard sharing this unique adventure that my life in Arizona has become. God willing and some sound financial planning will keep me out here and that means more entertaining stories for my readers... (and more entertaining adventures for yours truly).