Missed me by THAT much...

Tarantula

     Thanks to Agent Maxwell Smart for the title...great news (finally).  After preparing for torrential rains and flash flooding last night, Hurricane (or tropical storm or whatever they are on land) Odile did an "ole!" and moved south and east of the valley and pounded the Tucson area instead, leaving us with one of the most beautiful nights this summer...low 80's, cool breeze, cloudless skies and billions of stars.  I guess Mother Nature was tired of my whining and threw me a bone...(truth be told, I wasn't too pleased with my whining either).  It was a night to remind me how beautiful the desert truly is at night, but you can't spend too much time admiring the night outside because where I work there are critters afoot and slithering...I thought it would be cool to show you some pics I took with the new iphone I have...(yes, I finally upgraded from a rotary phone)...

Western Diamondback Rattlesnake

Bullsnake

     The native snake population seems to have increased this summer because I am seeing more and more on the roads at night absorbing some heat.  I only relocate them if they get into the member's property or pools or garages...my partners aren't too fond of snake calls, but I like them.  Nothing breaks up the routine or wakes you up like handling a rattlesnake...(really gets the adrenaline flowing...even better than coffee!).  But snake season will end around in October or November when the little buggers go into hibernation.  Then we have to watch to see if the mountain lion that lived on the property some years back returns...I would much rather deal with snakes, thank you very much...

I live in Bizarro World...

     I think that I finally figured out something important...(probably was obvious to most but you know the wheels in my head turn slowly),  Summer in the Valley is my winter.  It's "Bizarro World" out here...(thank you, Seinfeld).  Let's do a comparison, shall we?
     People leave the Midwest and Northeast in the winter months when cold and the threat of snow rear their ugly heads and come here.  Then they return after May to escape the excessive heat and monsoon storms and humidity of the desert summer months...
     The invasion of the Jersey Shore begins after Memorial Day (May) and usually concludes after Labor Day (September).  Restaurants are packed, the boardwalk is packed, the beaches are crowded and traffic is awful.  The "snowbird" season begins here in October and last until April or early May.
Restaurants are packed, golf courses are packed (and the prices go up, up, up!) and traffic is awful.
     The Northeast and Midwest have their worst weather conditions from November until the end of April with bitter cold and record snows.  The worst weather in the Valley is from June until the end of September with monsoon storms, record rainfall, flash floods, and sticky humidity...
     Golfing deals in the Northeast and Midwest are best in the spring (February-April) and fall (Oct until first snow).  The best golf deals out here are from June through September...We live in the same country but it's like opposite sides of the planet.  And don't get me started on the people...(just kidding...I love my snowbirds like the year round residents of the shore communities love their "bennies"...wink, wink).
     Speaking of the weather...you would think that living in the desert would mean dealing with oppressive heat (it does) and temperatures that hang in the 100's for most of the summer (it does) and that's about it... OH NO!  Not this summer.  If anyone watches the news, 2 weeks ago Hurricane Norbert dumped record rainfall on the valley...(Norbert? Is the best name they could come up with?) No problem, right? The ground would soak it up like a sponge, right? Wrong! The rain had nowhere to go, so roads were flooded out, dry river beds became rivers again and flash flooding was a major problem.  I was never so happy to live in a second floor apartment.  Norbert dumped 4.5 inches of rain in a 24 hour period on Phoenix alone.  I know that doesn't sound like much, but the average rainfall for the year here is 8 inches.  Only the major city areas have sewer systems...(Thank you, Tempe).  The rest of the state is at the mercy of the washes and gravity and natural drainage.  So with some areas still cleaning up, here comes Odile...(who the heck is in charge of naming storms?) up from  Baja and Mexico with another round of storms and heavy rain... This is the worst example of dry heat, ever!  The heavy stuff is supposed to come on Wednesday night...(of course I'm working!) so I will be manning the rain slicker and hoping the security vehicle I drive doesn't get swept down some wash...(no sewers in Desert Highlands).  Mother Nature has beaten me again...Never again will I make fun of the weather elsewhere or revel in the misfortunes of others...(Let's be real. I will always revel in the misfortunes of others, it just won't be weather-related).
     So off to work I go.  I will make it through, have no worries.  Making it home may be another story but I will deal with that tomorrow morning... Adios to you...Hola to Odile...

Where's Blog-do???

     Sorry, Waldo, but the title was so perfect that I couldn't resist...Welcome to the FIRST blog of 2014.  I can't believe that it has taken this long to be in touch.  Thanks to those of you who reached out wondering if I had met my demise...(and be assured that this is NOT a blog from the great beyond).  This year, barring a very few exceptions,  now ranks in the top 5 crappiest years of my existence on this planet.  It started off on a terrific note...a visit from my sister and her family here to the valley right after Christmas including a cool New Year's Eve "boot drop" to ring in 2014.  Instead of the Times Square lighted ball, we ventured up to Prescott, Az. (cowboy country) and they had a six foot tall lighted cowboy boot that they used...once at 10 pm for the East Coasters and again at midnight for the "natives".  This will probably become a New Year's tradition for me moving on...(and I can't wait to leave this year behind).

     From the time the family went back to Virginia, the year started a downhill spiral that I have yet to recover from.  I now know what an athlete feels like when he is in a season long slump...(or plays for the New York Mets).  In early February, I began to suffer headaches and neck and shoulder pain. Several trips to the chiropractor did nothing to ease the pain, so I whipped out my newly minted health insurance card and went to see my primary care physician.  He referred me to a pressure point therapist and pain management specialist in the same group.  At the same time I lost my appetite, got horrible muscle aches (legs and arms) and bouts of fatigue...several more visits and many blood drawings later got me muscle relaxers, pain meds, and industrial strength Ibuprofen...Now I was referred to a internist and a hematologist on top of the the other three doctors I was already seeing. I lost 20 lbs in a month and they had no diagnosis...my blood work was off the charts and all they could tell me was what it wasn't.  It wasn't lyme disease, valley fever (yes, that's a real disease), cancer, liver failure, kidney failure, ulcer, fracture, muscle tear or a host of others.  I had blood work done every week, MRI and CT scans, colonoscopy and endoscopy (using different scopes, or so they told me) and after three and a half months I started feeling better on over the counter Ibuprofen I bought from the Dollar Store...(the muscle relaxers and pain meds were awful and only made me feel worse).  5 doctors and they couldn't tell me what was wrong.  I ended up getting injections in the top of my spine that completely eliminated the neck and shoulder pain (hooray for small victories) and my test results are completely back to normal.  The official diagnosis was that "something" attacked my system and my immune system eventually fought it off.

     Needless to say, a lot of the procedures and tests and medications were not covered by insurance    (as you all are painfully and financially aware of) and the wear and tear on my finances was not pretty.  I was able to work through most of the illness and I am not homeless nor starving...I believe I now fall into a brand new financial category (made up by yours truly) of  "comfortably poor".  It fits in above extremely poor and very low income... I have a roof over my head and food in the fridge and am able to get back and forth to work and that's about it (for right now).  But don't cry for me Argentina (or whomever)... I am not ready to pass the hat or line up at the soup kitchen.  This is a temporary hiccup on an almost 6 year run of nothing but blessings...it just the universe evening things out a little.  It's life delivering a wake up slap that I not "all that" and I need to be more watchful and careful with pretty much everything.  Truth be told, it reminds me of time 19 years ago when life was beating me down and I made wholesale changes so that I could continue this wild ride called "life" (those of you who know me know what I'm talking about).  Back then I kept everything inside and let it build up in my mind that it was hopeless so that I had a "reason" to drink and drug...(not that I needed one).  This is the reason why I have returned to the Blog Kingdom.  I need to let go of all this crap in my head...(and there is a ton or two) and share my crap with you...Talking about this keeps the problems fresh and allows me to work on them physically instead of worrying about them.  Too often the "poor me's" slip in and sap whatever strength you have to reverse misfortune.

     The best thing I can say about all this...(oh, by the way, my water heater crapped the bed yesterday...lol) is that I will learn from this adversity and take steps to ensure that it doesn't happen too often...(never say never).  My health is good, my job loves me and I love it, and we are almost done with this infernal "monsoon" season...(which is the subject of tomorrow's ramblings, I mean blog).  Love to you all...the Arizona Kid.