Believe the Unbelievable...

     It is an incredible roller coaster of emotions that I am feeling today as I address the readers in the Kingdom of Blog.  The fact that I am writing this at all is a miracle in itself.  I am completely humbled and fighting back tears as I continue to write on this truly momentous occasion in my personal life.  As some of you know, I am a recovering alcoholic and addict.  I say recovering because the fight never ends for me.  To say that I have conquered my addictions would be a lie and would undermine all the hard work that the people who helped and supported me through the years have put in.  To say I won would open the door to that feeling that I have done enough and that a drink now and then might not be a bad idea.  I got this thing licked?  NO! and I never will.  I will never give in to those substances that controlled and almost took my life years ago.  I will always stay vigilant and deal with it as I do everything in my life that tries to overwhelm me...one day at a time.

     Today marks 25 years that I have remained clean and sober...It would be easy to take the credit for it, but I know it wouldn't be true.  I never could have done a thing without the help and support of friends and family and most of all by the Grace of God.  The song below (Rascal Flatts "I'm Movin On") came out in 2000... (I had moved to New York State in 1999) and it still means everything to me.  I had lived in New Jersey my whole life...but I couldn't anymore. When I agreed to go back in 2005, the feelings returned.  The guilt and the self-loathing and the "familiar" places.  All I could see were "the years passing by."  By 2008, I had decided to get "movin' on" and packed up my stuff and moved to Arizona. I had "made up my mind that those days were gone".  I found the life that had been waiting for me all those years...
                                   
                                     I'm Movin' On
                                      Rascall Flatts

            I've dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons
                    Finally content with a past I regret
         I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
                 For once I'm at peace with myself
    I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
                                     I'm movin' on

                I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
             Each one is different but they're always the same
            They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
                    They'll never allow me to change
    But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
                                    I'm movin' on

                                     I'm movin' on
           At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
           And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
                 There comes a time in everyone's life
             When all you can see are the years passing by
         And I have made up my mind that those days are gone

               I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
                  Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
                    I've loved like I should but lived like
                                   I shouldn't
                  I had to lose everything to find out
    Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
                                   I'm movin' on

                                  I'm movin' on
                                  I'm movin' on

25 years! Believe the Unbelievable! How does a recovering alcoholic celebrate a milestone like this? By not having a drink today and remembering how it was before and how great it is now..To all of you that have played a role in this incredible journey, I cannot begin to thank you enough.  God Bless.

For The Times They Are A-Changin'

                                       Come gather 'round, people
                                            Wherever you roam
                                         And admit that the waters
                                          Around you have grown
                                           And accept it that soon
                                     You'll be drenched to the bone
                                    If your time to you is worth savin'
                                        And you better start swimmin'
                                          Or you'll sink like a stone
                                     For the times they are a-changin' 
     
This Bob Dylan song...(released in 1964) is the theme for the triumphant return of the Artful Blogger!  Greetings and salutations to all in the blogging universe.  It has truly been a LONG TIME since I bored...(I mean informed) you last of my comings and goings here on Planet Earth.  It was on May 31, 2019 to be exact!  A lot of water (time) has passed under the bridge and I felt the need to bring you up to date.  And since all of us are literally shut-ins now, perhaps the ramblings of yours truly will provide a little needed entertainment...(in between home-schooling, snacking, napping, snacking again, binge watching Netflix and breakfast, lunch and dinner).  Whoever decided that gyms were a non-essential business should be tarred and feathered.  The "quarantine fifteen" is the true threat to Americans, not the Corona Virus.  How are we going to return to work when we won't be able to tie our shoes (or even see our feet!)?  Can't go to the gym...can't go to the park...in some states, you can't even go outside! But the silver lining is that the golf courses in Arizona are open!!  Yes, it is is golf "Valhalla" here in the Great Southwest.  You get your own cart, you can't rake the bunkers (they took the rakes) and you can bring coolers on the course (they took the water).  If they had closed the courses, I might have been using my clubs for other things...(like knocking some sense into the toilet paper hoarders, the people who wear masks in their own car, or the people who gather out of the house to tell you to stay in the house). But, lucky for those people, the courses are open and I am enjoying it.  

                                   Come gather, ROUND people
                                           Alone in your home
                                     And admit that the waistline
                                         Around you has grown
                                      And accept that your pants
                                      Will be stretched to the bone
                                  If your figure to you is worth savin'   
                                       And you better start dietin'
                                       Or you'll gain several stone
                                    For the scales they are complainin'

     My apologies to Mr. Dylan for screwing with his song, but I needed to channel my inner Weird Al Yankovic.  Also, the reference to stone above...14 pounds equals 1 stone (European).  I was going to rant on about my conspiracy beliefs concerning the present state of affairs in our country but this blog would probably be taken down and I might be investigated... so I'll save it for a future blog! :)  Nancy and I continue to work (Thank you, Jesus!).  As "essential employees" I am still working my shifts at the Hyatt and she is working the take out/curbside shifts at the restaurant along with part time at the Country Club (Yea, Golf!).  The hotel is closed (still unsure of the reopen date) but security has to be here and so here I am.  We converted our garage into a workout space and with the temperatures hitting 100+ already, it's like a hot yoga studio with weights.  I am inspired...(see above lyrics) and will persevere to not increase my "rear".  We continue to eat healthier...for the most part.  Elective surgery is making a comeback in May and hopefully Nancy can get her shoulder surgery (torn rotator cuff).  I remain healthy...(the usual aches and pains of advancing age. but having the mind of a child seems to offset it for the most part).  I am so grateful for the many blessings God has bestowed on me.  And in these challenging times gratitude and humility need to replace selfishness and complaining.  Count your blessings.  We will get through this.  Enjoy your families.  Praise God and say thanks for another day.

                                  Don't gather round people
                                     Stay in your own home
                                     And admit that this crisis
                                        Will be over and gone
                                       And accept it that soon
                                     Another problem will come 
                               If your freedom to you is worth savin'
                                     And you better start resistin'
                                      These Communist drones
                                 For the times they are a-changin"

God Bless all of you!

Resolution Are Made to be Broken

     That resolution I made in the last blog to keep in touch more often was broken faster than a 400 lb. man sitting on a wooden chair! With that said...a great and overdo "HELLO!" to all my faithful readers (hopefully there's  a couple of you left!).  Much has happened since the last time we visited so let's get to it...

     First and most important is that Nancy and I will be celebrating our one year anniversary on June 11 (I know you "relationship veterans" are poo-pooing right now, but you have to crawl before you can walk).  She has made my life so much better in the last year and it's the happiest I've been in a long time.  I never thought that I would ever meet someone and the pressure to find that someone was screwing with my head (as if my head wasn't screwed up enough).  I finally let go and asked God to take over and would accept His decision...whether or not I would find someone was okay with me (His will be done).  Then Nancy came into my life and the rest is wonderful history.  The work schedules get in the way sometime, but that just makes our time together more special.  In fact, we went to San Diego in May (Thank you Hyatt Employee Rates).  It was a "triple celebration" weekend.  Nancy's birthday (May 10), our anniversary (May 11) and Mother's Day (May 12).  Nancy has a daughter that lives in Washington, so I spoiled her with a weekend away.  It couldn't have been a better time and I hope we can get away more in the future as she stabilizes her work schedule (I hope).  She's in the restaurant business so her schedule is polar opposite of mine.  We'll work something out I'm sure.

     I finally pulled the trigger and had the hernia surgery I have been putting off...(it's been so long I was thinking of declaring it as a dependent on my Tax returns).  On April 19 (Good Friday) I went under the knife and now have a bunch of scars in my abdomen.  The best news is that I have my "innie" belly button back! I missed it.  What I REALLY missed was six LONG weeks of no golf! But I played my first round yesterday and I'm back, baby!  It was a little scary at first not knowing how I would play or if I would hurt something swinging the club, but I made it through with no injuries and played fairly well (75).  Looking forward to a summer of golf as the prices go down, down, down and the temperatures go up, up, up!  The invitation to come and play is always there...(planes fly West and contrary to popular belief there is water here).

     The classic P.O.S. (1998 Saturn) finally gave up the ghost (by not being able to eclipse 30 mph on the way home from doctor visits).  Driving with the flashers on and in the right lane for 18 or so miles was the last straw as the transmission finally s&*% the bed.  It happened on a Thursday and when I limped home (by the Grace of God) I told Nancy we were going to the dealership next day.  So Friday came and I rejoined the American Dream by going into debt on a 2019 Chevy Malibu.  I was going to buy used again, but I figured why not have a car that I won't have to fix every other month.  I was tired of driving other people's headaches and now I have a headache that's all mine! It had 3 miles on it and it is beautiful! Power everything, bells, whistles and I can start it with my phone...(what the heck is that all about)?  I donated the P.O.S. to a local radio station and they towed it away while I was at work and they are happy and I am ecstatic.  It served me well and was there when I needed a car desperately so all in all it was a decent experience.

    And last but not least, thanks to having a job with benefits, I was able to retake a sleep study and was outfitted with a CPAP machine.  The doctor said my apnea was not bad...it was terrible!  He couldn't believe that I got any sleep at all and when they put me on the machine the results were fantastic.  It took awhile to get used to the mask, but the results are undeniable.  I have more energy and am sleeping through the night (without wetting myself....yet).  Nancy is sleeping better now, too, because she doesn't worry about me stopping breathing and snoring all night.  No more "zombie" days at work...(nodding off in mid-afternoon or driving home).  And the machine is very quiet and communicates with the Sleep Center so they can track my patterns...(like Santa, they know when I'm sleeping and they know when I'm awake).  I always liked sleep (even though I wasn't really sleeping) but now I love it. And my health overall is good and getting better with the tweaks now and then.

     So there you have it.  Busy few months and it was nice to return to the blogwaves once again.  I hope this rambling finds you well and enjoying life...God Bless You all.

Time fles...

     Time flies...whether you want it to or not!  I can't believe my last blog was in November of 2018.  How can I expect you to continue reading if I  am that bad at keeping it touch?  Life does get in the way sometimes, but I experienced a roadblock of activities...(all of my own doing so not an excuse) in the past couple of months.  Nancy and I have moved in together and we we are renting a place in Fountain Hills, Arizona.  Packing up eight plus years of "stuff" and moving it from Tempe to Fountain Hills was a daunting task, but very freeing at the same time.  Goodwill was an appreciative recipient of many bags of clothes and small appliances during the process and I believe I filled a full sized dumpster with a collection of useless "stuff" that I collected over the years...(I can't believe some of the crap I kept around).  I went through the apartment like a tornado goes through a trailer park and ravaged my "precious" belongings into the dumpster...(tee shirts from 20 yrs. ago, a lamp that never worked right, and broken furniture that I was too lazy to get rid of are examples).  It was a good experience purging the old and moving on to the new.  Now that I am officially a resident of Fountain Hills...(I will be emailing my address to those that want it) I get to empty more boxes and try to blend my stuff with Nancy's stuff to create OUR stuff.

     It truly is a beautiful place and Fountain Hills is a gorgeous place.  It's a "dark" city (no street lights) so at night the star-filled canopy is truly breath-taking.  Our townhouse is two floors and faces East-West so that we have sunrise outside our bedroom in the morning...(overlooking the mountains) and sunset in the backyard at night.  Nancy has a two mile commute to her job in town and she gets the garage...(her car is much nicer than my classic P.O.S.).  My commute is about the same as from Tempe, but I no longer have to drive the 101...(which the P.O.S. and I are grateful for).  Work in general has been great.  I now work Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday with the rest of the week off.  So last week I went back and worked the Waste Management Phoenix Open golf tournament.  Ten straight days of 12+ hours reminded me of life back when I first moved here, but I had a blast working the golf.  They put me with the leader for the weekend and it was fabulous, but extremely tiring.  Nancy has been working hard also so it's been tough finding some together time lately...(she works at night mostly).  This weekend we are going on a hike and taking a golf lesson together with my friend Sue, a teaching pro I know that moved to a course not far from here.  And Sunday is "move in" day...(trying to find places for the rest of the "stuff" still in boxes).  It's nice that we have a dumpster so close to the house in the parking lot.  It's also nice that I don't have to park half a mile away like it felt I did in Tempe...

     I was able to sell off a few things before I moved and we purchased OUR first piece of furniture...a couch that is super comfortable and has a chaise on one end.  It is very easy to become one with the couch after a long day of work, so some willpower is needed to keep away so that things can get done. But is is REALLY soft and comfortable (I have lost to the couch several times...especially during the long stretch of 12 hour days).  Nancy has really put a lot of effort into turning this place into OUR home and she has done a terrific job.  I look forward to coming home and especially look forward to our time together.  I have decided to work my three days and no more until March...(taking advantage of four days off).  In March there are a few things I want to do.  There are some conventions downtown and the LPGA has a tournament here where I can walk with the golfers again around St. Patrick's Day.  But for now I want to make our house a home and remind Nancy that her man is here for her.  Oh yeah!  Happy New Year everybody! (I have got to do this blogging thing more often).  That's going to be my New Year's resolution!  God Bless y'all...Talk to you soon. 

     

Has anybody here seen my old friend...

     Has anybody here seen my old friend Jim the Blogger?  Can you tell me where he's gone?  He wrote a lot of blogs once, but it seems he's gone quiet...  I just looked around and he's gone!  My apologies to Dion (never knew he sang Abraham, Martin and John) but I like to use song lyrics to introduce my blogs. So, in that vein...

    Please allow me to re-introduce myself...  I'm a man of  words on a page.  I've been around for a lot of blogs... Shared stories of happiness and rage .  Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name... But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game...(blog).  Sorry, Mick but it was too apropos this time.  I guess we'll call this "Sympathy for the Blogger."  

     Okay...enough with the massacred song lyrics.  I am back to recap the last few months of life here in sunny (very sunny) Arizona.  When last I wrote you (August), I was celebrating a year at the Hyatt and a new woman in my life (Nancy)...  I am pleased to announce that I am still at the Hyatt with a kick ass schedule...(Wednesday, Thursday and Friday) and Nancy and I are still together.  The weather has gone from blistering 100+ and some pretty vicious storms (with some serious flooding) to the absolute paradise that is the next 7-8 months.  The weather change wasn't gradual this year... a tropical storm (yes, a tropical storm in the desert!) named Rosa came from California and dumped a crap load of rain on the Valley and swept the heat away.  We went from 100 degrees to mid-80's in less than a week and it has stayed like this...(Thank you, Rosa!!).  So, as snow begins to fall on the and rest of the country, I am blessed with high 70's during the day and mid 50's overnight...It's time for shorts and sweatshirts!   The golf courses are done with over seeding and are lush and green and open for business.  I am off on Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday every week (Thanks, Boss!).  But the best news is that Nancy and I are still together...  it has been a great experience getting to know her and hanging out together and discovering this great place we live in.  I look forward to every time I see her.  In fact, tomorrow we will be celebrating 5 months together and I feel really good letting the blog world know that we are looking for a place to live together and hope to move in to a place soon...(don't look now, but it looks like someone is growing up and becoming an adult!).  But don't worry, I still have the mind of a child...

     So, that is exciting news...after 10 years here in Arizona (Nov.15--Happy Birthday to Cathy Daddy and Molly!) I am still embarking on new adventures and new challenges...moving into a new place...(wherever it may be) moving in with my girl, Nancy...working at a job I truly love to do...(the 4 days off a week is pretty nice too).  I needed to get back in touch with all of you because I am truly blessed right now and I wanted to share that with my blog family...My health is great (considering all the years I spent trying to kill myself with booze and drugs)... I have found a church and have been attending on Sundays with Nancy... (when work will allow).  It's a Methodist Church here in Tempe (I like to call it "Catholic Light"-- all the religion without the guilt!).  It's nice to be involved in a church again.  I have never lost my relationship with God...(He has blessed me beyond belief) but it feels good to visit Him at His house.  My golf game is also beyond belief...(I still can't putt but it's better now than it ever was) and my scores are consistently in the lower to mid-70's (now I can try and beat the temperature!),  Sheba, the cat (aka Mrs. Wafflepuss) is alive and well...although she doesn't like Nancy...(jealous cat that she is).

     It really feels good to get the blog going again...I hope that all of you are doing as well as I am and I send warmth and sunshine your way...(I sure do have a lot to spare these days).  God Bless you all!  I'm back! Back in a blogging groove! And baby, you'd better believe...I'm back! Back in a blogging groove!  Back in a blogging mood!  See Ya!!

One of these nights...

                                              One of these nights, one of these crazy old nights
                                        We're gonna find out, pretty mama, what turns on your lights
                                                 The full moon is calling, the fever is high
                                                And the wicked wind whispers and moans
                                               You got your demons, you got your desires
                                                          Well, I got a few of my own

     And one of those demons is working the night shift...Here I am at 1:15 am on a Monday...(I don't usually work on Monday as you well know) doing my security thing.  One of the night crew called off and a group text went out and I volunteered to work. What makes this shift so special is that it followed 4 hours of trauma training from 1-5 pm.  So basically, it's a 18 hour day at work...(4 hours of training--2 hours downtime-12 hour shift).  Yes, I am a crazy man but the call of overtime pay is still strong.  Green fees will be going up in September, so a few extra shifts now and then will cover the increase.

     The trauma training was very interesting.  In these times we live in, training for a possible active shooter event (both before it occurs and how to help after it's over) is essential.  The training we received is the same training given to Police Departments and Firemen and EMT's (though not as specialized). We are First Responders  here at the resort.  We know the location better than anyone and are needed to make sure the EMT's and Fire Dept. get to the victims quickly and safely.  We are the first on the scene in an emergency.  I'm no hero, but I'm not afraid to do my job and properly trained I will get in there and do what I can to help.  The techniques and methods I learned today...(especially those needed to remain calm in the face of possible mass casualties) could possibly save a life (including my own).  Old dogs can learn new tricks...

     I am coming up on my 1 year anniversary with Hyatt this week (8/8) and that means VACATION TIME! I told you...(or I didn't) that I was heading back to Aruba in December to visit with Toni Ann and Bob and Nancy accepted my invitation to come along...(a week on a Caribbean island...tough decision to make).  I have stayed in a timeshare and a resort hotel so this trip we're going to use Airbnb and stay in someone's apartment.  I'm really glad Nancy is coming with me.  I always want to show off MY island and she has never been there.  Plus, it's been too long since I have visited with Toni Ann and Bob.  Can't think of a better way to spend a vacation than laying on the beach with good friends and my girl!

     It's 3:45 am and I'm still awake and ready to go on my second patrol.  I need to "just say no" when a night shift becomes available, but it still has a hold on me.  Old habits die hard...(alcohol, drugs, and night shift).  At least I won't have to go to NSA (night shift anonymous) because there is no way I will have a relapse and become addicted to working overnights...Oh no,  I am a day walker.  It is sunshine and getting home on the same day I started for this man...but every once in a while...

Living the Dream...

     Hello, and greetings from the blogosphere...it is your intrepid blogger coming at you from the monsoon soaked environs of the Great Southwest.  If you pay attention to the Weather Channel, you know that it has been brutally hot here in Arizona...(I like it, which explains a great deal of where my heads at!).  We topped out at 116 last week with an added dash of humidity...(not like the kind of humid I remember from the East Coast but enough to notice).  It made for some adventurous patrols around the property at the job, but again...I love the heat.  Give me 115 with a sun that feels like it's touching your shoulder over 2 degrees with a negative windchill and a foot of snow any day...So back to the monsoon soaked environs.I was having lunch with my old boss in Scottsdale and some ominous clouds appeared as I was leaving to come home.  I got on the 101 and the real fun started...HABOOB! (Arabic for duststorm).  By the time I entered the highway you couldn't see 100 feet ahead of you and it got thicker as I drove on.  The exit signs that I knew were there appeared out of the dust as you reached them and the traffic slowed to about 30 mph (on a road where 70 is laughed at and rarely the speed of choice).  About halfway down the 101 toward Tempe the rain...(yes, I said rain!) started mixing with the dust making it a little more fun.  At that point I exited the freeway and took to the side roads...("Backroads" Bob, my father, would have proud).  It was then that the dust dissipated and torrential rains came...(finally got to use those windshield wipers I replace and never use).  Trees down, instant flooding and morons...(the other drivers) littered the roads but I managed to get home in one piece...(a 30 minute drive took me 1 hr and 45 mins).  The rain stopped by the time I got to the apartment but the rainfall probably doubled our yearly average.  The best thing is the temp right now is 78 and the air smells of the wet desert...(a scent that I have come to enjoy but rarely get to smell except during monsoon season).

     More news on the new Door...from this moment on she will be called Nancy (which is good because that's her name).  She and I have been dating for about a month and its pretty terrific.  She's funny and smart and can handle all the craziness that makes yours truly such an interesting character.  I truly enjoy spending time with her and hope to continue to do so.  I will keep you posted.

     I am venturing to Virginia and Pennsylvania this weekend to visit my Sister and her family and the Sloca Nation reunion.  Having extended days off makes getting time to travel a heck of a lot easier.  My co-workers and I cover each other's shifts whenever someone needs some time off, so getting a weekend now and then is possible.  It will be good to see my nieces because Vee didn't have the chance to come to Phoenix this year for Comic Fest.  And I haven't seen Nat in ages...(at least it feels that way).  Getting together with the Cousins et al... in Pennsylvania is always an adventure and I'm glad to be able to go this year.  The extended family is extending to new heights as kids grow up and have kids of their own.  It will be good to sit and catch up again...

    So that's the latest news from the desert in the Great Southwest.  Always more to come...(because I still have a lot to say).  God Bless you all. See you next time.