20 years and counting... (Part Three)

     April 23, 1995 began like many Sundays that year.  My brother and I were going to race in Newark at the Cherry Blossom 10k and then go to my sister's house for a after race BBQ.  We finished the race and I began drinking...(six pack and Marlboro post race meal).  I didn't slow down when I got to my sister's either and around 6 pm I said I had dinner plans (lie) and had to go.  By then I was buzzing... (not eating and drinking after exercise will do that to you).  We got in an argument and I left.  That was the last thing I remembered about that day...

     I woke up the next morning and my feet were freezing.  I couldn't find the blanket and my pillow felt wrong but my head was pounding so badly I didn't want to open my eyes.  When I did open my eyes I noticed the camera in the ceiling...(I don't have a camera in my bedroom ceiling).  Then I noticed the bars where the door should be...(again, no bars in my bedroom).  I realized I was in jail.  The officer brought me some crappy coffee and commented on what a busy night I had.  My wrists were very sore (handcuffs) and I was told I needed 980 dollars for bail or I would be staying awhile.  The call to Mom to come pick me up and bring my checkbook to Westfield Police Station hurt almost as much as the hangover I was suffering through.  Where was my car?...at a local body shop.  When I sobered up enough I contacted a local lawyer and called work...(it was Monday now) and listened to my boss berate me for not showing up.  I explained that I needed to use my phone call for bail and would explain all the following day.  I met with the lawyer and he advised me to ask for help from my employer and to start an out patient counseling program because the court would mandate one and doing it now made me look more responsible.  By asking work for help...(I was still denying that I had a drinking problem) they were compelled not to fire me under the American Disability Act and I would need my job to pay for all the fines, insurance surcharges, and miscellaneous fees that would be coming.

     For the next few days, when I wasn't working, I was drinking...(what better reason than to drown all my new problems rather than deal with them head on).  I was demoted back into the warehouse at work...(and with it a HUGE cut in pay).  I had to take the train to and from work and ride my bicycle also.  I found a counseling center that was a block from one of the stops on the train...(location, location, location).  I had a pending trial facing 2 years loss of license plus a host of fines and fees...my car was in a body shop waiting for me to pick it up.  How to handle all this?  Drink up!  I do not remember what triggered it, but when I woke up the morning of the 28th of April, I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize the face staring back at me.  That bastard in the mirror was responsible for all my hardships and problems and I wasn't going to let him drag me down anymore.  I didn't know how I was going to cope with everything crashing around me but I FINALLY realized that drinking wasn't the answer (proverbial slap to the forehead and light bulb above the head, please).  I also had no idea how to stop drinking except that I so polluted I couldn't drink that day or that weekend...During my drinking heyday I used to quit for Lent, so I decided to stop until all the legal crap was resolved.  So I began my quest to find a way out of the abyss...