Heart Attack Grill...

What an apt name for an eating establishment... This "gem" in beautiful Chandler, Arizona was an eatery I avoided like the plague until I saw it on "U-Tube", "Man vs. Food", and a show called "Extreme Pigouts"... (classy title). Brother-in-law Craig arrived last night and the weather did nothing to cooperate. A storm blowing in from the Pacific is wreaking havoc in Arizona. High winds and torrential rain are pounding the state here in the Valley, while snow is falling at record rates in the high country around Flagstaff (3 hours to the north of me). The possibility of 7 feet of snow was being discussed on the Weather Channel (yes, I said 7 feet). This is definitely the worst weather day I have witnessed in my time on the left side of the country. We decided to take a riding tour of the area. I took Craig past the Barrett Jackson Auction site in Scottsdale (we will be attending the auction on Friday and Saturday thanks to tickets provided by sister Sheryl), past Camelback Mountain and into Phoenix downtown (Chase Field, US Airway Center, the Convention Center and downtown buildings). Fog and wind and rain put a damper on the scenery but there is not much you can do against Mother Nature. So we decided to have lunch at the "Heart Attack Grill".

After several attempts to find it, I looked it up on the internet and realized it was at one end of a strip mall I frequent... (I told you that I avoided it. I must have blocked that building from my mind). The ambulance parked outside is the first thing you see. All the employees are dressed either as doctors or nurses (and the nurses are quite lovely). You are dressed in a hospital gown (I called it a body napkin) and given a paper bracelet and given a menu. Single, double, triple and quadruple bypass burgers are available (each patty is 1/2 lb of meat). There are endless baskets of "flatliner" fries (deep fried in 100% lard), all you can eat. A fixin's bar consisting of pickles, tomatoes, jalopenos, and onions was also available. If you eat a triple or a quadruple bypass burger you get a free wheelchair ride to the parking lot. If you weigh 350 lbs or more (and prove it on the scale in the restaurant) you can eat for free every day you are over 350 lbs. (now that's a worthwhile goal). The bun glistens with the lard used to "butter" it. There is also a blood pressure machine in the restaurant and "full sugar"Coke to drink. Craig played it safe with a single bypass burger while your intrepid author went with a double. Besides the obvious lard-soaked food, it was probably the best burger I have had in a long time. The owner's declaration that "it's all about making money" and not being afraid of the "fat police" is piped on the flat screen tv's over the bar while you dine. The motto is "The Heart Attack Grill--Taste Worth Dying For". It will definitely be added as a "must see and eat" destination for all coming to visit me in the Valley. I give it two thumbs up (and a couple of extra EKG spikes). Pictures are available on Facebook on both Craig's and my pages.

We waddled out and came back to the apartment and watched the auction on the Speed Channel in anticipation of tomorrow's excursion. Believe it or not, the culinary excursion to the "dark side" did not cause the gastric distress that I anticipated... (but tomorrow morning has yet to come). Early to bed and early up to get a decent parking space and see some sensational cars. I am recharging the camera batteries and will be taking a crapload of pictures. I will post them as soon as I can. Really looking forward to it... Hope Mother Nature cooperates.