Believe the Unbelievable...

     It is an incredible roller coaster of emotions that I am feeling today as I address the readers in the Kingdom of Blog.  The fact that I am writing this at all is a miracle in itself.  I am completely humbled and fighting back tears as I continue to write on this truly momentous occasion in my personal life.  As some of you know, I am a recovering alcoholic and addict.  I say recovering because the fight never ends for me.  To say that I have conquered my addictions would be a lie and would undermine all the hard work that the people who helped and supported me through the years have put in.  To say I won would open the door to that feeling that I have done enough and that a drink now and then might not be a bad idea.  I got this thing licked?  NO! and I never will.  I will never give in to those substances that controlled and almost took my life years ago.  I will always stay vigilant and deal with it as I do everything in my life that tries to overwhelm me...one day at a time.

     Today marks 25 years that I have remained clean and sober...It would be easy to take the credit for it, but I know it wouldn't be true.  I never could have done a thing without the help and support of friends and family and most of all by the Grace of God.  The song below (Rascal Flatts "I'm Movin On") came out in 2000... (I had moved to New York State in 1999) and it still means everything to me.  I had lived in New Jersey my whole life...but I couldn't anymore. When I agreed to go back in 2005, the feelings returned.  The guilt and the self-loathing and the "familiar" places.  All I could see were "the years passing by."  By 2008, I had decided to get "movin' on" and packed up my stuff and moved to Arizona. I had "made up my mind that those days were gone".  I found the life that had been waiting for me all those years...
                                   
                                     I'm Movin' On
                                      Rascall Flatts

            I've dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons
                    Finally content with a past I regret
         I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
                 For once I'm at peace with myself
    I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
                                     I'm movin' on

                I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
             Each one is different but they're always the same
            They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
                    They'll never allow me to change
    But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
                                    I'm movin' on

                                     I'm movin' on
           At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
           And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
                 There comes a time in everyone's life
             When all you can see are the years passing by
         And I have made up my mind that those days are gone

               I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
                  Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
                    I've loved like I should but lived like
                                   I shouldn't
                  I had to lose everything to find out
    Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
                                   I'm movin' on

                                  I'm movin' on
                                  I'm movin' on

25 years! Believe the Unbelievable! How does a recovering alcoholic celebrate a milestone like this? By not having a drink today and remembering how it was before and how great it is now..To all of you that have played a role in this incredible journey, I cannot begin to thank you enough.  God Bless.